These gentlemen are eager to help a lady.
I’ve often heard women lament, “There just aren’t any gentlemen around anymore!” Au contraire! They’re still out there; you just have to look in the right place. Might I suggest a strip joint?
Merriam-Webster Dictionary, my online, go-to source at http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary, provides the following definition:
Gentleman: c (1): a man who combines gentle birth or rank with chivalrous qualities (2): a man whose conduct conforms to a high standard of propriety or correct behavior
Merriam-Webster also provides the following definition:
Gentleman’s Club: a nightclub for men that features scantily clad women dancers or stripteasers.
So that’s where all the gentlemen have gone!
You can tell these patrons are true gentlemen by their behavior:
At a strip club, you’ll find guys shouting, “Whoo, hoo! Shake those big ta-tas all up in my chivalry!”
Patrons are eager to help a damsel in distress by letting her squirm around in their laps for 10 minutes, or however long it takes to relieve their distress.
If there are any drinks, or other noxious substances spilled on the floor, the typical patron is sure to lay his jacket over it to protect Tiff’nee and Bambi’s 6-inch spikes from being soiled.
As in days of old, jousting is a favorite pastime for gentlemen. In fact, management has to be constantly vigilant to make sure the gentlemen aren’t waving their staffs around in public. The police frown on that.
The term gentleman used to embody the ideal qualities a woman looked for in a man. It was a title that most men aspired to hold. A Gentleman’s Club is the last place on earth you would ever find one. So why are strip joints called this?
This is a classic example of Euphemish, a concept I first defined in my post New Language Discovered!
According to Peg-o-leg’s Dictionary of Real:
Euphemish noun \’yü-fə-mish\
a: A language, or dialect, featuring the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant.
Synonyms: Sugarcoat, spin, mislead, lie
Origin: from the Greek, euphēmos auspicious, sounding good.
Translating from Euphemish to English, we might come up with more accurate names like the following:
- A Place For Scumbags to Act Like Pigs
- Desperate Women With Fake Boobs and Dead Eyes
- Meaningless Encounters with Paid Strangers Instead of Intimacy With A Real Woman
Hmmm. That first title probably won’t rope the fellas in. The second wouldn’t look too hot on a billboard. And the last just won’t fit on a book of matches. I guess if you’re in the “selling the sex sizzle” business, using the Euphemish title Gentleman’s Club is just smart marketing.
Ladies, next time you’re looking for a true gentleman, look no further than the dimly-lit, seedy little joint just on the outskirts of town. If you go on Amateur Night, you might win $50!
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
lol “Dead Eyes”. You know, my Lollipop Tuesday for this past week fell apart and here I am on a Monday night wondering whatever I shall do. Perhaps a trip to a gentleman’s club is in order?
I’m afraid thereafter I shall spoon out my eyes.
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If that’ what you decide to do, it’s a damn good thing your dad doesn’t read your blog, hmmm?
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I wouldn’t *participate*. Just, you know, check it out.
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That would be a Lollypop Tuesday blog post I would NOT like to see.
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Of course they are gentlemen, as you can see when they are so worried about a lady being cold, they insulate her panties with paper currency.
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You’re right – that IS what they’re doing! Don’t know why it never occurred to me.
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Peg, while I admire your dedication to sociological research, I’m a little concerned about the field work you must be doing. Really, going into the jungle to study chimps is one thing, but THIS?
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I’m the Jane Goodall of urban sleeze.
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I can picture it now – you, squatting at the corner of the bar, shoes sticking to the floor, field notebook in one hand, camera in the other…
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The human animal often makes the jungle kind look pretty civilized.
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They really do care about the lady-entertainers in these establishments. They’re so worried about them falling over that the put verticle poles in the middle of the rooms for them to hold on to.
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Now that’s the kind of concern for one’s fellow man (or woman) that brings a tear to my eye.
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Gents with that bent can stay there. Love the comment about insulating panties and providing poles for safety!
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Gents with that bent can stay there. Love the comment about insulating panties and providing poles for safety!
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Talk about people looking on the bright side!
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Hahaha… wonderful. I’m the first male commenter on this post. That’s… just…
*backing up slowly*
awful behavior… really… who would ever condone…
*eyes cautiously darting from side to side*
PLEASE REMEMBER I BRUISE EASILY!
*arms flailing wildly and running for the door*
😉
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No, you’re welcome here (ladies removing 6-inch heels). Nobody is going to take it out on you as some sort of poster-boy for all that is wrong with men (hefting shoes, spikes-out). This is just a light-hearted discussion…GET HIM, GIRLS!!
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I think “Meaningless Intimacy with Fake Boobs” might have some draw.
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I think you’re right. For a certain sort of guy, it would make more sense to just pick up a couple of the silicone inserts in their sterile packaging, and just play with those.
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All right girls and guys. To figure out your stripper name, write this down:
1. Your first pet’s name.
2. Your First Grade Teacher’s last name.
FYI, my stripper name is Pussywillow Halverson. I will be pole-twirling later.
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My first grade teacher was a nun. This is just disturbing.
But your name is great, should you make this career choice.
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Oh, that would be just wonderful! (Sarcasm…) That would give me the name Mutt Potts. I would probably be the only stripper in a place like the logging camp pictured in Peg’s previous article.
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Um, maybe you had better stick with Bambi or Tiff’nee if you want any tips.
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Smart marketing–you got that right! There might be men there, but “gentle” is the last thing on their minds (or so I assume). 😉
Funny post!
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Thanks Lorna. Check out egills site for gentlemen – it’s pretty cool.
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In this downer economy, I’m thrilled to have such credible assistance with career choice. Entertainment for Gents is rarely advertised at the employment offices. Now to find some big ta-tas and work on my name (which according to Sandy Sue would be: Andy Walters).
Perhaps you should check on what vocation your first grade teacher is in now?
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That is a pretty good name for a stripper – Sandy may be on to something here. I think the big ta-tas are nonnegotiable at the job interview, though. Thanks for stopping in!
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I have to stick up for the real Gentlemen here… they’ve gone off in disgust with the modern world and tend to hibernate over on this website http://www.thechap.net/ and at such social gatherings as shown here http://www.thechapolympiad.com/
I know this to be a fact because my hubby is subscribed 😉
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What a great site! I KNEW there were still gentlemen in the world.
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If I’d known they were called Gentleman’s Clubs, I would tricked my wife into letting me join years ago.
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It looks like egills’ Gentleman’s site is right up your alley, Paul. I bet they have an entire section devoted to proper use of the smoking jacket!
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Oh yes they do, and lots of good advice on tweed / hats / pipes and even the correct way to wear a moustache… unfortunately Brian decided he was going to grow a handlebar for Christmas… this year he’s decided to grow a neater one ( thankfully ).
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That’s great! He can twirl the ends and you can do a fab Simon Lagree/damsel in distress reenactment (YOu must pay the rent…But I can’t pay the rent!…But you must pay the rent.)
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This Amateur Night? How do you think they feel about baby pooch or stretch marks? I’m asking for a friend, of course.
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The lighting’s not so good in those places, so it’s OK. Or so a friend of mine told me… to tell your friend.
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You’re absolutely right, Pegoleg, Why just the other day I was saying to my good friend, Chesty Desire, why would you work in a place like this?
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Using Sandy Sue’s method, that means your friend’s first kitty was named Chesty, and her first grade teacher was Miss Desire. No wonder she grew up twisted!
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I had always heard the propper way to find your Stripper Name was
1. Your first Pet
2. The first street you lived on
Which would make my Gentlemans Club nomiker Fluffy Wyoming. Which I Love. This other method, using your first pet and first grade teacher, I’d be Fluffy Monte… and since Monte, in Spanish, means Mountain… I could be Fluffy Mountains just the same. It’s all good.
*know anyplace having a sale on “mountains” this week? Anyone?
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I love both names, but Fluffy Wyoming has a real Best Little Whorehouse In Texas vibe to it. Do I sense a career change coming?
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