Gentlemen Prefer…

These gentlemen are eager to help a lady.

I’ve often heard women lament, “There just aren’t any gentlemen around anymore!”  Au contraire!  They’re still out there; you just have to look in the right place.  Might I suggest a strip joint?

Merriam-Webster Dictionary, my online, go-to source at http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary, provides the following definition:

Gentleman: c (1): a man who combines gentle birth or rank with chivalrous qualities (2): a man whose conduct conforms to a high standard of propriety or correct behavior

 Merriam-Webster also provides the following definition:

Gentleman’s Club: a nightclub for men that features scantily clad women dancers or stripteasers.

So that’s where all the gentlemen have gone! 

You can tell these patrons are true gentlemen by their behavior:

At a strip club, you’ll find guys shouting, “Whoo, hoo!  Shake those big ta-tas all up in my chivalry!” 

Patrons are eager to help a damsel in distress by letting her squirm around in their laps for 10 minutes, or however long it takes to relieve their distress.

If there are any drinks, or other noxious substances spilled on the floor, the typical patron is sure to lay his jacket over it to protect Tiff’nee and Bambi’s 6-inch spikes from being soiled. 

As in days of old, jousting is a favorite pastime for gentlemen.  In fact, management has to be constantly vigilant to make sure the gentlemen aren’t waving their staffs around in public.  The police frown on that.

The term gentleman used to embody the ideal qualities a woman looked for in a man.  It was a title that most men aspired to hold.  A Gentleman’s Club is the last place on earth you would ever find one.  So why are strip joints called this?  

This is a classic example of Euphemish, a concept I first defined in my post New Language Discovered! 

According to Peg-o-leg’s Dictionary of Real:

Euphemish noun \’yü-fə-mish\
      a: A language, or dialect, featuring the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant.
      Synonyms: Sugarcoat, spin, mislead, lie
      Origin: from the Greek, euphēmos auspicious, sounding good.

Translating from Euphemish to English, we might come up with more accurate names like the following:

  • A Place For Scumbags to Act Like Pigs   
  • Desperate Women With Fake Boobs and Dead Eyes 
  • Meaningless Encounters with Paid Strangers Instead of Intimacy With A Real Woman

Hmmm.  That first title probably won’t rope the fellas in.  The second wouldn’t look too hot on a billboard.  And the last just won’t fit on a book of matches.  I guess if you’re in the “selling the sex sizzle” business, using the Euphemish title Gentleman’s Club is just smart marketing.

Ladies, next time you’re looking for a true gentleman, look no further than the dimly-lit, seedy little joint just on the outskirts of town.  If you go on Amateur Night, you might win $50!

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About pegoleg

R-A-M-B-L-I-N-G-S, Ram...Blin!
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40 Responses to Gentlemen Prefer…

  1. Jackie says:

    lol “Dead Eyes”. You know, my Lollipop Tuesday for this past week fell apart and here I am on a Monday night wondering whatever I shall do. Perhaps a trip to a gentleman’s club is in order?

    I’m afraid thereafter I shall spoon out my eyes.

    Like

  2. notquiteold says:

    Of course they are gentlemen, as you can see when they are so worried about a lady being cold, they insulate her panties with paper currency.

    Like

  3. bigsheepcommunications says:

    Peg, while I admire your dedication to sociological research, I’m a little concerned about the field work you must be doing. Really, going into the jungle to study chimps is one thing, but THIS?

    Like

  4. They really do care about the lady-entertainers in these establishments. They’re so worried about them falling over that the put verticle poles in the middle of the rooms for them to hold on to.

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  5. Gents with that bent can stay there. Love the comment about insulating panties and providing poles for safety!

    Like

  6. Gents with that bent can stay there. Love the comment about insulating panties and providing poles for safety!

    Like

  7. Hahaha… wonderful. I’m the first male commenter on this post. That’s… just…
    *backing up slowly*
    awful behavior… really… who would ever condone…
    *eyes cautiously darting from side to side*
    PLEASE REMEMBER I BRUISE EASILY!
    *arms flailing wildly and running for the door*
    😉

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      No, you’re welcome here (ladies removing 6-inch heels). Nobody is going to take it out on you as some sort of poster-boy for all that is wrong with men (hefting shoes, spikes-out). This is just a light-hearted discussion…GET HIM, GIRLS!!

      Like

  8. Seasweetie says:

    I think “Meaningless Intimacy with Fake Boobs” might have some draw.

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      I think you’re right. For a certain sort of guy, it would make more sense to just pick up a couple of the silicone inserts in their sterile packaging, and just play with those.

      Like

  9. Sandy Sue says:

    All right girls and guys. To figure out your stripper name, write this down:
    1. Your first pet’s name.
    2. Your First Grade Teacher’s last name.

    FYI, my stripper name is Pussywillow Halverson. I will be pole-twirling later.

    Like

  10. Smart marketing–you got that right! There might be men there, but “gentle” is the last thing on their minds (or so I assume). 😉

    Funny post!

    Like

  11. Barb says:

    In this downer economy, I’m thrilled to have such credible assistance with career choice. Entertainment for Gents is rarely advertised at the employment offices. Now to find some big ta-tas and work on my name (which according to Sandy Sue would be: Andy Walters).
    Perhaps you should check on what vocation your first grade teacher is in now?

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      That is a pretty good name for a stripper – Sandy may be on to something here. I think the big ta-tas are nonnegotiable at the job interview, though. Thanks for stopping in!

      Like

  12. egills says:

    I have to stick up for the real Gentlemen here… they’ve gone off in disgust with the modern world and tend to hibernate over on this website http://www.thechap.net/ and at such social gatherings as shown here http://www.thechapolympiad.com/
    I know this to be a fact because my hubby is subscribed 😉

    Like

  13. If I’d known they were called Gentleman’s Clubs, I would tricked my wife into letting me join years ago.

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      It looks like egills’ Gentleman’s site is right up your alley, Paul. I bet they have an entire section devoted to proper use of the smoking jacket!

      Like

      • egills says:

        Oh yes they do, and lots of good advice on tweed / hats / pipes and even the correct way to wear a moustache… unfortunately Brian decided he was going to grow a handlebar for Christmas… this year he’s decided to grow a neater one ( thankfully ).

        Like

        • pegoleg says:

          That’s great! He can twirl the ends and you can do a fab Simon Lagree/damsel in distress reenactment (YOu must pay the rent…But I can’t pay the rent!…But you must pay the rent.)

          Like

  14. Tori Nelson says:

    This Amateur Night? How do you think they feel about baby pooch or stretch marks? I’m asking for a friend, of course.

    Like

  15. Big Al says:

    You’re absolutely right, Pegoleg, Why just the other day I was saying to my good friend, Chesty Desire, why would you work in a place like this?

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      Using Sandy Sue’s method, that means your friend’s first kitty was named Chesty, and her first grade teacher was Miss Desire. No wonder she grew up twisted!

      Like

      • Spectra says:

        I had always heard the propper way to find your Stripper Name was
        1. Your first Pet
        2. The first street you lived on

        Which would make my Gentlemans Club nomiker Fluffy Wyoming. Which I Love. This other method, using your first pet and first grade teacher, I’d be Fluffy Monte… and since Monte, in Spanish, means Mountain… I could be Fluffy Mountains just the same. It’s all good.

        *know anyplace having a sale on “mountains” this week? Anyone?

        Like

  16. Pingback: The 3 Most Powerful Letters In The English Language | Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings

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