For bloggers, each post is a work of art, lovingly and laboriously shaped. We give our precious thoughts a sail, then set them afloat in the WordPress regatta.
Sometimes, instead of the sleek, literary craft you hoped for, your blog post turns out to be the turd in the pool. All the other kids are swimming away from it in terror and disgust.
I know of what I speak.
A post I did last week, The Rubaiyat of Redneck Heaven, was a clever melding of classical poetry and hillbilly values. At least, that’s what I thought. My readers reaction? I got nothing. Nada. You could have heard a cyber cricket chirping when this post hit the net. Even my most loyal readers and family members stayed away in droves.
When a post tanks, there are a couple of ways you can respond:
1) I meant for that to happen. “Ha ha! It’s not easy writing something so well that it appears that I thought it was good so you wouldn’t be SURE if it was supposed to be bad. Wasn’t that a good joke?”
This way, nobody guesses that the rejection is causing your heart to bleed with the pain of a thousand cuts.
2) I don’t care. “This blog is merely a cathartic online journal for me. I don’t care if anyone else reads it. Number of hits? Bah! Comments? Pah!”
This reaction gives the impression that you are above such mundane considerations as public opinion.
3) I am an artiste. “You lesser beings just can’t comprehend my brilliance. I pity you and your plebeian tastes.”
I knew guys who were able to skate through college using this attitude in place of real effort. It also works well for many in the modern art world – you just have to have the chutzpah to pull it off. I’ve had some success with this approach myself, as explained in my post of the same name.
For this latest post-bomb, though, I’ve decided to go with yet another response:
4) Ain’t too proud to beg.
I promise, I’ve had my blog pool power-washed and sanitized.
Please, please come back in – the water’s fine!
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
I enjoyed the post, even if I didn’t have anything to add! I appreciate it all the more for prompting this one, with that fabulous picture. *giggle* My brain’s proving slow to start this morning, but that got me going!
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After a holiday weekend, we all need a little help jump-starting the brain. Bring on the coffee!
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Oh man, the crickets can make things so awkward, can’t they? Just when I think I have a decent gauge for my audience’s reaction, I find that a “good” post go dry or a “terrible” posts is a hit.
It’s the mighty blogosphere keeping us ever at its mercy.
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It keeps you humble, doesn’t it?
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If I have a good post, I think I’m a genius. If I have a bad post, I think there must be something wrong with WordPress.
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I like the way you think!
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This may be the funniest reply I’ve seen all year!
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FUNNY! Oh, notquiteold – we all secretly harbor that suspicion. Once I was horrified that I hadn’t received any comments for some posts I did. Then I realized I hadn’t published them.
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That would tend to limit the comments. But didn’t Dionne Warwick at least leave one? (you know, Psychic Network…she knew you were going to post…get it?…no?…nevermind)
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My personal excuse for blog-turds is, “oh, my readers are just very busy this week and haven’t had time to comment.” Lame, huh?
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Well, I did consider that half of the country was taking early vaca for the long weekend, but I can’t let myself off the hook that easily.
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Blog Turds. LOL. I will remember this one. Nice to know. now, I am not alone. That’s helpful. This summer, I took a risk, and posted about Little House on the Prairie and Corn Bread Muffins, because a week of pounding rainstorms kept me inside, and…it ended up having the 2nd most comments ever!? Go figure…
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It’s so true, that we never know what is going to resonate with people enough to generate a comment. Thanks for stopping by!
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Hey hula hoop, I’ve been off the grid (I like saying this because it makes me feel like a fine, young, lady version of MacGyver), but rest assured I would’ve been all up in your comments section for that post!
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That’s because you are kulchurred, Tori, unlike SOME I will not name.
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I was there. I will always be there. A few loyal readers is better than none, right?
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Right-ee-o. Thanks, Lorna!
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Every swing of the bat is not a home run. All you can do is send your posts out there and see what happens. If that was the only one that got the cricket chirp, then you are still the mighty slugger that we all know and love.
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No, I have more than a passing acquaintance with crickets.
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Well 7 people liked it and I was one of them, but I must admit I did have a lotta trouble trying to understand it.
Me..I am a simple girl, I do not have a mind profound…I like things to be simple so I can read them , digest them , make a comment and pass along.
as I did not understand there was not a lot that I could say, so it was best to say nothing
but this one I do understand and we are all still here, just wondering what happened yesterday!
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Thanks for hanging around through the bombs! I was trying to stick pretty closely to the Rubaiyat, which is a beautiful poem, although it can be a bit tough to slog through.
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Pegoleg, blog “bombs”, as you call them, are just blogs with longer fuses than the others. Whether the readers stay around long enough for ignition is another question.
On another note, this blog title will go down in WordPress history as one of the 10 great titles of all time!
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Hey, I was over on your blog writing a comment when you were over here! (dramatic shiver at the coincidence).
Thanks, Al. I thought the title had a classy ring to it.
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I read your post on Friday (though I have heard that Fridays are the worst days to get people to read one’s blog). To be completely honest, I had two things working against me: 1. I was in a hurry, and 2. I didn’t feel like I was smart enough to understand the references. But I honestly, truly thought it was a really clever go.
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Thanks for the words of support. Methinks that clever may be overrated, though. I do better when I don’t try so hard.
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I know – I was one of the peeps who lurked but didn’t comment! I’m just not a poetry reader. Gasp. I can’t believe I said that here. I don’t like piano music, either!! Wow. That was cathartic. See, peg, your post today had rare benefits. I’ve come clean as well.
I thoroughly enjoy 99% of your posts.
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OK, time to come clean. I really, truly appreciate the talent and artistry involved, blah, blah, but I can’t make myself sit through opera, the ballet or piano recitals. You’re right – this catharsis is liberating!
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A true gem of a post here but as my comment genius is lacking this may be a turd too.
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Welcome to my toilet.
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Summer’s been a nightmare. I haven’t updated my blog in so long that my readers (all three of them) must think I’m dead. I’ve been reading your posts at night before I go to bed, and by then my brain is already numb and my comments would probably be gibberish, but keep writing, I’m still with you.
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I checked out your blog just the other day looking for signs of life. Thanks for letting me know you’re still out there – I’ll call the fire department back and tell them not to break down your door. You’re not dead – just on brain vacation!
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But wait! It’s not a turd, just a soggy Baby Ruth. After this fine rant, folks will paddle over for a nibble.
(I loved the Rubaiyat post, BTW).
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That’s right, Sandy. No gross stuff here – just a candy bar. But I don’t suggest anybody go in for a nibble…
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… or 5) Sometimes a post is so well crafted and intellectually superior that the readers are left speechless…
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Yeah! What Margie said! (I always knew you were a woman of rare insight and intelligence).
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