Americans now use “sexy” more often than any other word in the English language.
OK, I made that up, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.
Sex is a staple of reality TV, even in shows where you wouldn’t expect it. A contestant in a cooking show I was watching said she wanted to bring sexy back to the kitchen. I thought she was talking about doing it on the kitchen table. Turns out all the hubbub was about spaghetti sauce. I like pasta as well as the next person, but… sexy?
Sex sells – I get that. And I have nothing against sex. Quite the contrary. But our nation’s obsession with being sexy as a be-all, end-all goal is shallow and boring.
This obsession was apparent when I was in the birthday card aisle at the store the other day. Half the cards for 50-year-old women feature photos of buff, shirtless young men. They’re nice to look at, but I wonder if the folks at Hallmark realize that what is sexy to a woman at 21 isn’t the same as what works at 50.
Here’s a short list of turn-ons for the older, more discriminating woman:
- Slightly stooped shoulders – from carrying 50-pound bags of potting soil and water softener salt for you, and more than his fair share of the worries and the burdens.
- Missing thumbnail – from a hammer incident when he was building a tree house for the kids, or a pedestal for you.
- Lines around the eyes – from laughing at your jokes, the kid’s antics and the things in life that otherwise would make you cry.
- Thinning hair – from nights spent tearing it out, worrying how he was going to pay the bills and take care of his family.
- Watery eyes – from mowing the grass no matter how bad the ragweed is, and getting choked-up watching home movies of the kids when they were little.
Being dependable and hard working, having a sense of humor, showing a little tenderness – these are the things a real woman finds sexy in a real man.
And if these traits come wrapped in a package with strong, broad shoulders and a killer smile, that’s OK too.