No thanks, I'm on my way to the gym. Perhaps my sister would like a chocolaty Ho-Ho.
All the women in my family are voluptuous. Zaftig. Generously padded with fleshy fleshliness. At least that’s what we would be in a Rubens painting. In modern parlance, one might say fat – if one were an insensitive boor.
Enter my sister Terry.
Last week, she issued a challenge: join her in her quest to lose weight and get healthy. She threw the gauntlet down – right into a bowl of cottage cheese. She’s putting her own money where her mouth is. Or where her mouth should not be. The prize? $250.
If she wins the challenge, she gets to keep her money. If not, she has to break open her piggy bank (sorry, poor choice of words). That’s her incentive to stick with it.
Terry is a teacher. As a group, I think they get an incredible burst of end-of-year, no-more-students-dirty-looks energy once the last grade report has been filed. They start making lists of things to accomplish over the summer. Apparently, “Get Healthy And Hot Before I Die” made it to the top of her list.
Looking at photos from a recent family wedding may have given her a clue that this was not a bad goal for the rest of us, either. Terry sent an email blast to our sisters, Mom and sisters-in-law. The last are all in varying degrees of much better shape than us, but the invitation was extended to all, nonetheless.
The response was under-whelming. You could hear crickets chirping over the interweb.
Some years ago, a much-loved uncle asked, “Why are all you girls overweight?” Much- loved, but pretty damn tactless. That comment has stuck with me. When I called Terry for details on the challenge, I was surprised when she mentioned the same, careless remark. Tactlessness aside, it’s a tough question to answer. Our brothers are in great shape. So why do all the girls overeat?
I don’t know.
My Mom and sisters were thin as kids and only gained weight as adults. Not me. I have struggled with this all of my life.
When I was 13, my Mom took me to Weight Watchers. She only needed to lose a few pounds, but she came along to help me. Getting on a scale in front of strangers, being the only kid in a room full of fat adults, the group leader’s cheerleader-on-crack zeal for stuff like faux bread pudding (diet tips straight from God’s mouth to Jean Neidich’s ear)…I know Mom meant well, but God Almighty, I think that experience scarred me for life.
But, and it’s a big butt (sorry), I know I need to lose weight. The older I get, it becomes as much about health as looking good. Diabetes runs heavily in my Dad’s family, and heart disease in my Mom’s. Talk about doing a lousy job picking your parents!
Our brother’s widow and our other two brothers (thin people all) generously offered additional cash and prizes to encourage us. Sweetening the pot, as it were, but with Equal.
I signed on the dotted line. Surprisingly, every one of my sisters and Mom did as well.
So it begins. I’ll keep you posted on our progress through the summer, carefully editing out any parts that are less than complimentary to me.
I’m really hoping for the best, for the sake of my family’s health. If only you could meet them, you would see that each of these women is strong, loving, and funny and deserves only the best in life. And if you did meet them, you could show your appreciation by treating them to a banana split.
Game on.
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
As one who endured shopping in the Chubby Girl section of the local department stores as a kid, I feel your big squishy pain. I wish you luck on your quest, but I’m begging you, please do NOT refer to your quest as “it’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle change,” because that will make me run (okay, walk briskly with my thighs rubbing together) away from your blog, screaming obscenities. Seriously, good luck : )
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Well, maybe if I thought about it as a lifestyle change I wouldn’t have to keep doing this, over and over. But I won’t say that, to avoid being deafened by the sound of your thighs rubbing together.
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I thank you, and don’t worry, I’m not wearing corduroys.
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Ooooh I’m excited 🙂 Grats on making the decision to up your game and best of luck in making healthy changes.
Make sure you work in some banana splits though, or none of it’s worth it. 😉
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My problem will be working in the alfalfa sprouts between the banana splits.
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Great picture, Peg. I think I’m the one on the left. The problem is , we were born in the wrong time! Good luck and may we all lose lots of unhealthy fat.! MKC
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Enjoy your Ho-hos.
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You go girl!
I start a diet every day. I eat a healthy breakfast & lunch. Then….almost every single cotton pickin’ day around 3 pm I crave, and give in to, my addiction to sugar. Then….almost every single evening, I need some salty snacks to counter all of the sugar I ate, and I give in my salt addiction with salty snacks. Argh!
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I feel your argh, and raise you a Gaaa! Seems to be a common lament.
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I LOVE that picture!! I think we must have lived the same life…with the exception that my genetic structure has many more issues on the list. Bravo on your post and your challenge! I can’t wait to read about the journey. Encourage the men in the family to keep adding to the prize and go for it with gusto!! You have the blog, therefore the most cheerleaders…
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Yes, but the others probably have more will-power. I must be nuts to put this out there for the world-and-all to read.
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So, you’ve outed us to the world. More incentive to stay the course??? I’ve only heard from Mar (3lb loss) and myself (1lb loss – and I’ll take it after this weekend!) Other gals need to email their status after week one.
Wimbledon started today. Hope that will motivate me even more!!!
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News flash – tennis only helps lose weight if you are PLAYING it, not WATCHING it.
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I didn’t get Teri’s e-mail! But…after going to the orthopedic doc about my torn ACL in my knee and being informed that if I weren’t so fat and old i’d be a better candidate for surgery, I’m on the wagon too! The no fat, alcohol,carb wagon! I’ll join your challenge! I’m having surgery on aug 3rd and need to loose as much weight as I can before that. Let me know the details!
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Lisa, you’re welcome to join the fun! Email me with the email address you want me to use for the challenge and I’ll forward on the original information. As Peg outlined in her post, there is some real $$$ for the 1st and 2nd place winners, highest percentage weight loss at the end of 3 or 4 months, approximately end of Sept.’ish. Talk later, T
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Lisa, glad to have you aboard! Although I don’t know if this is the best time for you to be on a diet – the economy is still pretty fragile, and all those poor, Sour Apple Martini farmers….
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Oh, Peg. Love the allusion to the Christmas Candy debacle last Dec. Tee hee!
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Yes, I feel terrible that I kept Lisa from getting hot last Christmas when I pointed out how bad that would be for the economy. Check out the archives for December in the right-hand column, “My Sister-in-law Is Ruining the U.S. Economy”, because I can’t figure out how to embed a link to it.
(My first time Freshly Pressed, by the way, and wasn’t I thrilled!)
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Wishing you all the best from Holland 🙂
Will follow closely as I am no lightweight myself……
feel free to share some tips 🙂 🙂 🙂
x
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We all know what to do, don’t we? It’s just that we don’t want to do it!
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*grins with chocolate between teeth*
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Go Peg go! As I got older and married I didn’t feel as much motivation to keep in shape in order to look good. I have only recently tried to get in better shape because I worried about long-term health and a family history of diabetes. Good luck to you.
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When you start worrying more about your cholesterol than your hotness, it’s a sure sign of aging. Thanks for sending good, fat-free wishes my way, Paul.
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I’m rooting for you!
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Thanks, DebaBeth. I’ll try not to let you down.
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Lol, this is great, I wish you luck aswell. I’m one of those people, incidentally, who eats anything they want and never put any weight on at all; I think its because of my metabolism or something. I am one of the skinniest people know and I actually want and need to put weight ON. 🙂 I’ll swap you!
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I think I hate you.
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I think I hate you as well.
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I’ll bet you dollars to donuts (oops, make that dollars to dumplings…er…uh….dates..yeah, that’s it) I’ll bet you dollars to dates that you are the biggest loser in the family…..and I haven’t even met the rest of them. (You started it.)
Seriously, good luck, and I know all about bad family health history…..it’s a worthwhile quest! Go for it!
P.S. You can pay me off in prunes if you have any left.
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Hardy, har, har. Dates are REALLY high in sugar, you sabatour.
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WOW what a brilliant idea to start something like that.. I on the other hand although i would love to loose a few extra kilo’s would get seriously beaten up by my much older much larger sisters. never to mention their daughters too. I am the youngest of 6 sisters and happen to be the smallest of the lot. They have for years been saying wait until you reach 20 – – 30- – 40 and I think that now at 42 where i have dropped back down to a size 10 simply by dumping my man and taking to living life dancing every weekend and living off pasta and salads, they have given up. Dancing is the more fun way of excercise i know – go find a rave club and live it up…good luck i’m cheering for you!!
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Dancing is great exercise – good for you for getting fit! Too bad your sisters and nieces would be offended by the suggestion. It’s not like those of us who need to lose weight don’t know it. Weight loss is a touchy subject. Point them to my blog and say “how about us getting on board?”
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Awesome!! You have a knack for making me spit out my coffee. Your wit woke me up though, so no worries. I’m going to follow you for sure… (We’re gonna jog now, huh? Great.) i just started my own weight loss challenge. Dropped the 200 pounds that was holding me back and moved out on my own. 200 lbs overnight!!! I even started blogging (without really knowing what that meant.) Yay ME!! Yay YOU!!! I’m looking forward to your posts. 🙂
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Thanks so much! Just a hunch, but did the 200 pounds have some testosterone attached to them?
We’re not good at jogging. We consider a rousing game of Boggle to be exercise. Are you with me?
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*bows in awe*
(is almost rid of 200 pounds herself….almost there….not just yet……soon soon soon!!!)
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That’s a weight loss plan I think quite a few women are interested in!
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it involves (almost) 17 years of endurance, fights, arguments, disagreements, not seeing eye-to-eye, growing grey hairs, losing confidence in everything, crying, shouting, feeling (and being!) misunderstood etcetera etcetera…..
I don’t think it is recommendable…………..
but it’s almost happening to me now!
I just can’t wait any longer……almost almost almost there…..
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The puns are too numerous to count over the laughs. You gotta love it–at least I do! So many diets, so many opportunities to roll off the cart… I wish you and your dieting family women-of-substance much luck and fortitude. Just remember, health concerns aside, it’s okay to take up your fair share of space on this planet!
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I like the way you think, Lorna. I’m just taking my fair share!
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You guys need one of those bitchy trainers to shout and shame you into a frenzy. Yeah, that’s what I call a good time!
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Why pay somebody big $$ when plenty of people are willing to shout and shame you for free? Just call the Support hotline for any major electronics company, and feel the shame. Unfortunately, shame drives me straight into a bag of Fritos.
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I will be jumping Fat Girl toe touches (mine look a lot like sitting) for you. You can do it!!!!
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Sounds like a rigorous program you’ve got going there. I’m really good at the Sitting Buddha toe touches.
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As I’ve been trying to become healthy and active, I know the urge to reach for those fritos and ice cream is too compelling. At least you make it to the Y (from what I’ve read of your other entries). I have enough trouble just finding the motivation to go for a walk, let alone to any exercising place!
Keep us updated. Good luck!
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I have been faithfully, smugly going to the Y for 2 years, figuring I was helping my heart, bones and muscles, so I could eat whatever I wanted. If you burn off 250 calories on the treadmill, but consume 2500 calories in Ho-hos, apparently the 2 events don’t cancel one another out. I was never that great at math.
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I recently learned that eating foods high in fiber helps you feel full. I have a Kashi Go Lean cereal that definitely fills me up, so I think it must be true. Something to look into! Good luck.
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Good idea about the fiber. I tried some Kashi cereal and it was like eating shredded mattresses. Must have had a bad box. I made some high fiber carrot muffins last night and just had one for breakfast – it was pretty good. Think I’ll freeze the rest.
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Haha. Well, I like a natural grain taste. Sometimes I add berries, though. Fruits and veggies have fiber too. Personally, I can never have too many berries!
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I’m with you there. Our garden exploded with strawberries this year, and I’m just reaching the end of them. This is just about the only edible thing I’ve ever been able to grow, so I was thrilled!
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“Get Healthy And Hot Before I Die”…always a good aim! Good luck, Peggy…I’ll just be over here nursing my bowl of tortilla chips…sigh…
Wendy
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As long as you don’t have any sour cream/French onion dip with those chips, you’re doing fine, Wendy!
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