Try our meaty haunches!
Why are beauty salon names so often bad puns?
Hair’s What’s Happening, The Mane Event, American Hairlines, From Hair to Eternity, Head Hunters, The Hairport, A Cut Above, Simply Hair-resistible,…we could go on and on. Consider the establishment mentioned in the title, a combination hair salon and all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant.
Do students brainstorm new names as they perfect the art of the Jheri Curl? Are hair stylists cornier than everyone else? Why should they have all the fun?
It’s about time other industries got in on the action.
I’ve started things off with a few suggestions. The business names and industries have been scrambled to make it more challenging. Can you match them up?
Beware; there may be more than one correct answer.
- The Right Stuff a. Rand McNally outlet store
- The Grass is Greener b. Electrical contractor
- Up In Smoke c. Columnist
- See You Later Alligator d. First National Bank of Warsaw
- The Rite Stuff e. Snow machine manufacturer
- Out On A Limb f. Proctology practice
- Trunk Show g. Airplane manufacturers
- The White Stuff h. Optometrist
- Pity Party i. Movers
- Pushing Up Daisies j. Religious supplies
- Up Periscope k. Pool supplies
- The Write Stuff l. Prosthetic manufacturer
- Jeepers Creepers m. Taxidermist
- The White Stuff n. Medical marijuana
- Must Give Us Paws o. NASCAR pit crew
- Ex-Lax p. Cocaine dealer
- Atlas Shrugged q. Reptile petting zoo
- The Wright Stuff r. Shakespearean theater for dogs
- Right Here In River City s. Tree trimming service
- The Pole Vault t. Lawn service
- The Bright Stuff u. Florist (specializing in funeral arrangements)
Disclaimer: The above names are assumed to be original. Any similarity to any business, living or dead, is either sheer coincidence, or is the fault of my unconscious mind committing plagiarism without my knowledge or consent.
The author welcomes wince-worthy additions to this list.
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
The title of this post was so “special” that I almost decided not to read it. Then I saw the photo and I really didn’t want to read it, but I couldn’t help myself. I recommend avoiding hair salons that have the word “barn” in the title, e.g., Susie’s Beauty Barn. It can’t be a good thing.
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“Barn” does strike me as an odd choice for a beauty emporium, unless one is hooved.
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Hair Sculpturing – The Braidy Bunch
The other day I passed a billboard the said “Dr. Lamey – Chiropractor”.
Your business quiz was quite clever.
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Thanks – I’ll add the Braidy Bunch to the list!
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How about “Ain’t nothin but the reel thing, baby” for a bait shop.
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Good one! Or a movie rental place.
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Hilarious!! Up till now my faves have been “Hair 911” and “Happy Nail,” my daughter’s nail salon in DC. We figure they just manicure one nail.
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When your daughter leaves there, is only one of her nails happy? Are the owners maybe, just a remote possibility, not American born?
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Fun post, Peggy…we have “Hairacy’s” and “Micheline’s Mane Station” here (which reminds me…this “gravy sucking pig” needs a dye job).
I had a terrible time with the quiz! Favourites were “The Pole Vault” and “Atlas Shrugged” (which I think I matched with the correct type of business!).
Wendy
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“Hairacy’s” is quite clever, but I bet they get a lot of “I don’t get it??”
Save your quiz to be passed in at the end of class.
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A chiropractor could call his business…The Lumbar Yard.
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Teeheehee
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How about “Hairacy,” “Curl Up and Dye,” or “Hairs to You!” for a clipping emporium??
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I’ll add Hairs to You to the list!
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Oops… I guess Curl Up & Dye was already used – in the headline, duh!! They must have clipped a little to much off last time I was in the shop!!
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Hey, “A Little Off The Top” combination hairstylist/lobotomist!
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I figure it’s a matter of sanity. If you’re a barber/stylist and you don’t have any customers at the moment, there’s probably not much for you to do. I mean, once you sweep the floors and sterilize the clippers, all you can do is imagine what YOUR salon would be called.
I am a big fan of puns though, bad ones and the uh… worse ones (are there good puns?), and also of haircutters, so my theorizing should be taken with a grain of salt.
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So stylists just have more time on their hands than other professions? Interesting. I, too, am a fan of bad puns, but it’s not something I usually admit. Seems to be some shame attached to the admission.
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