Fashions by Moschino. Goat by Peg-o-Leg-o-Mutton Models.
I was reading a business magazine the other day when I came across an article: “Top Goat Selling Techniques.” It was a major, national magazine targeting corporate America. I was a little surprised the publishers thought that goats would be a hot topic with their readers, but I suppose sustainable living is very up-market nowadays.
Before reading what the experts had to say, I thought I’d dust off those old, analytical skills and compile my own list. Here’s what I came up with:
Peg-o-leg’s Top Goat Selling Techniques
1) Establish your brand: You want your business to stand out. First, come up with a catchy name like The Nanny (Goat) Diaries, Ode to Billy Goat, Goat-to-Meeting, The Goatherd Round The World – you get the idea! You might send out scratch-and-sniff cards announcing your sale. When potential clients think of goats, you want them to think of you!
2) Set your price: Start with Ebay to get a general idea of market pricing. Then ask your friends – how much do they generally pay for goats? You want to sell your goats for at least as much as you paid for them, and preferably more. That generates what those of us in the business world call “profit”.
3) Select the right advertising venue: Sure, a hand written note tacked up on the bulletin board at the whole-foods co-op doesn’t cost much. But don’t overlook a full-color fashion ad in the Sunday Magazine section of the New York Times. It might be a better investment if it will reach more of your target market. You’ll want to do some research on this.
4) Don’t ignore social media: Facebook, Twitter, LinkdIn, etc. If you have just a few goats to sell (a herdette), it may not be worth your while to invest time and resources in these media. If, however, this is going to be a continuing revenue stream for you, then you must be online to be relevant. You can build rapport with potential clients by sending them fun and informative tweets “Hansel the #goat just butted me in the butt!@goatsrus”
5) Choose your customers: You may ask “Wouldn’t I want to sell to anyone willing to spend $$ on a goat?” Not if you want repeat customers. They are the lifeblood of any business! Ask potential clients probing questions – “Do you have some place to put a goat? Any zoning to worry about? Leash laws? How about your neighbors? Will they have issues with their laundry and UPS packages possibly being eaten?” A buyer living in a 400 square foot, 3rd floor walk-up in the Village is probably a disgruntled refund situation in the making. A successful business owner practically has to be able to predict the future!
I was feeling pretty confident with my analysis, and eager to see how it stacked up against the experts as I opened the magazine to read the article: “Top Goal Setting Techniques”.
“Top GoaL SeTTing Techniques.” Not “Top GoaT SeLLing Techniques.”
I guess that would make more sense.
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
Very funny 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks for stopping by!
LikeLike
It may make more sense, but it’s hardly a fresh new topic. I applaud the intellectual exercise and marketing savvy you’ve demonstrated. I mean, anyone can set a goal, but few people can successfully market goats. Bravo.
LikeLike
Thanks. I haven’t sold any yet. I was going to put as the last tip that one would need to actually OWN a goat first, but I thought that might insult the reader’s intelligence.
LikeLike
Goatherd Round the World! I like that one.
You must have been thinking of Big Sheep Communications when you misread that title.
LikeLike
Yes, I’m sure Big Sheep was in the back of my mind. I also read a post recently about a lady whos husband was going to clean out her goat pen for Valentines Day. I’m surrounded by ruminants!
LikeLike
Ingenious. (And that cover could easily grace the cover of any major fashion magazine!)
I also have a couple of sales benefit points to add to the Goat Selling brochure: a) goats eat all sorts of paper … no need for paper shredders; and b) goats eat up all sorts of leaves as they hit the ground … no raking or leaf blowers necessary. A household multi-tasker and recycler. Please don’t ask me how I know this.
LikeLike
How do you know this?
LikeLike
Hi,
I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce Goats’r’us We’re all very excited about the opening of our new retail outlet Capricornucopia we’ll be celebrating with a family day, when kids are obviously welcome, with or without their nannies and little Billy gets in for free . . .
So don’t forget: Goats’r’us for when the going gets gruff . . .
LikeLike
Oops, no, we had to change the name of the store to Sagittari-r-us because of that recent zodiac kerfuffle. But we carry some exceptional 3-piece suit/saddle combos for the discerning centaurean businessman.
LikeLike
Very funny! The older I get, the more I misread headlines. I think it is my progressive lenses .
LikeLike
You keep telling yourself that.
LikeLike
It pays to think ahead of your customers and their problems to be a “full-service solution provider.” Be ready with answers when they ask, “why would I want a goat?” Try, “Want to get out of cutting the lawn? Just “goat” for it, instead!”
LikeLike
Spoken like a marketing guy. Do you sell insurance?
LikeLike
I think selling sheep would be a better way to go. They are much more docile, and their coats make great purses and broaches! 😉
LikeLike
You’re always thinking! But Big Sheep might be offended…
LikeLike
Contrary to popular belief, I’m not actually a sheep, but thanks for your “cultural” sensitivity.
LikeLike
Whether you chew your cud or not, you are welcome here!
LikeLike
Herd of Goats!?!?
Why, yes, I HAVE heard of Goats.
NASA is going to put a bunch of goats in orbit (it has nothing better to do) and the mission will be called the Herd Shot ‘Round the World.
SUBSCRIBE to the Dairy Goat Journal (www.dairygoatjournal.com) which, inter alia, answers the questions uppermost on people’s minds: “Can humans get goats pregnant?”
LikeLike
Sounds like someone has been enjoying the bourbon a little too much.
LikeLike
Today 7/27/2011 a goat which had won Supreme judging on 7/25 and the goats sibling which judged Master were auctioned at the Troy, PA. fair and sold for $23.00 & $22.00/lb on the hoof. Both those prices were records for this fair.
LikeLike
Wow! Congratulations to the owner of the goat family.
LikeLike
Pingback: True Confessions | Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings