- Support your local eggnog farmer!
My sister-in-law, Lisa, just announced she is starting a diet. With 3 weeks to go until Christmas.
This is wrong on so many levels. Besides the masochistic overtones, we have to consider how such a move might affect the nation’s economic recovery.
Lisa just wants to look hot for New Years Eve. But she may be starting a dangerous trend. Perhaps I can help her to see the bigger picture – what economists call the unintended consequences.
Seasonal industries have just a small window of opportunity to make sales. (i.e. yellow marshmallow chickees that can only be sold for 1 week before Easter.) In December, fattening Christmas food companies are scrambling to make their budget goals.
Take eggnog. Its rich, creamy goodness is almost synonymous with Christmas. But where does it come from? Family farms in the heartland keep herds of special, eggnog-producing cows just for the Christmas season. No eggnog, no eggnog farms.
All the farms will be sold for shopping malls, the farm children will have to leave the land for New York to become actor/model/waiters and the cows will be processed into McBurgers. Do you want to be responsible for the end of the family farm in America, Lisa?
And what about that company that makes those chocolate-covered cherries that you can get for $1 at Big Lots and other fine emporiums? They do all their sales this month. Does it occur to you, Lisa, that the firm that makes those has employees? If health-conscious, get-in-shape people don’t buy those candies, all the chocolate-covered cherry employees and their families, some of whom might have lame children who use crutches, will be out on the streets. Just in time for Christmas, you Scrooge!
These are just a few of the businesses that would be affected. There are anise-flavored cookies, monastery-made bourbon fudge and whisky fruitcake, and candy canes. I’m sure we could come up with lots of examples.
Sure, tofu sales will go up. But that won’t increase jobs. There is such a huge surplus of tofu just sitting around on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator case in the grocery store produce section (often right under the Bleu Cheese crumbles, ironically), we could go years without making any more.
And what about after Christmas? In the natural order of things, you sign up for diet and exercise programs in January. If nobody is overindulging in December, no one will be repentant and resolved to change in January.
80% of the YMCA’s income is derived from initial membership fees garnered in January. They can’t rely on the monthly fees, because those dry up in March. That’s when the new members cancel, although they actually stop working out after only 2 weeks. (The Y does get residual income from all the new members who forget they signed up to have the dues automatically deducted from their bank account. They can end up paying for years after their actual 2-week attendance is over.)
Do you want to be responsible for closing the doors on a fine, old institution like the Young Men’s Christian Association? And then what? Our nation’s young men will be out on the streets, joining gangs, becoming hooligans, and not being Christian.
Eat papa, eat!
Nutrisystems will go back to using their food as industrial lubricants, Jenny Craig will have to get a job as a brownie taster and South Beach will be deserted. Dr. Atkins will turn over in his grave!
(“America the Beautiful” starts softly in the background).
We are trying to climb out of a terrible recession right now, Lisa. Our president, and our congressmen and women, are working hard to get this economy back on track
(for amber waves of grain…)
It is the duty of every American to help in this struggle. If you think your hot-ness is more important than your country, Lisa, keep up the pre-Christmas diet. Help put thousands, nay millions of our fellow Americans out of work.
But as for me and mine, we love the U.S. of A., and we will support her!
(music builds to a crescendo, “from sea to shining sea!”, I get up and walk out like that scene in Animal House where Dean Wormer revokes the Delta’s charter because they have been on double-secret probation ).
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go buy some peppermint stick ice cream!
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
I had no idea your sister’s decision would have such a profound effect on the whole economy. Shame on her! 🙂
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She’s a nice person, just misguided.
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Lol, wow…THE HUMAN RACE DEPENDS ON….*dah dah dah DUH* ure sis. Funny story, i love ure comedic stories…Hilarious!
– http://www.sufferingbibliophobia.wordpress.com
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Im not American and Im not going on a diet…but I am loving this blog post! 🙂
(Irish girl who loves here mince pies…Im guessing Ireland needs help too!)
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We all have to do our part (check out my post “Home Sweet McHome” about dining in Ireland. I seem to obsess about food, don’t I?)
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I cant figure out how to leave my own comment, that’s why I’m replying on others’ comments. You are SO hilarious!! I am following u fer sure!!
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That’s a great way to put it…If I eat bad I can just say I am helping the economy 🙂 Wait…I can workout and get even more hungry and really help the economy…Ok..I will stick with running.
http://www.runtobefit.wordpress.com
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You can run AND overeat. The best of both worlds!
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Guess the government should be grateful to the quotas we make… lol
A fun read.
Well done!
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Thanks a lot!
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Chocolate covered cherries rock. So does eggnog.
I will single-handedly make up for her part of the economy. Trust me… 😉
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Thanks for doing your part. You’re a true American.
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I’ll help.
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Thanks for doing your part.
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As I stand up and salute and wipe the tear from my eye, I’m making plans to buy eggnog on my way home from work! I’ll do my part, by golly!
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Glory, Glory Halleluiah…
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quite a melodramatic take on a diet, but since i am all about the melodrama i love it.
http://dearexgirlfriend.com/
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I can never be blase about dieting.
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I have to admit (hanging my head in shame) that I too had considered starting my dieting on Monday.
I just wanted to be able to fit into my jeans again but thanks to your eye opening post, I realize how terribly selfish I was being. I’m heading to the store right now for egg nog and chocolate Santas.
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I’m proud to know such a great American!
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Christy, just noticed you were one of 2 people who actually read my blog a whole 2 days before I got rich, famous and Freshly Pressed. Thanks for the support!
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Oh. My. God. What about the FIGGY PUDDING?? Who is going to support the figgy pudding company if we all start putting our vanity before health of the nation?
Time is of the essence! Lisa must be stopped!
(Great post – congrats on being pressed.)
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You’re right! How could I forget the all-important fig industry! Thanks for the kind words.
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Maybe a news channel could run a tearjerker expose on the plight of the American fig farmer, the crumbling turtle dove/pear tree industry, and the now barren candy cane orchards of the upper midwest.
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Here here! Those who like to eat should be better respected in the country. We keep the economy going. Mr. One Celery stick a day contributes nothing to the American cause. I’m going to eat a barrel of cheese balls to help support dairy farmers in Wisconsin.
http://www.thompsonstshirts.wordpress.com
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You go, dude!
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Haha how dare she hurt our economy in this way :D.
With me being pregnant this christmas, I defiantly can help make up the difference that she won’t be eating.
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Good for you! Chocolate covered santas = health babies. Scientific fact.
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Seriously, your sister is not cool. Did you see Fed Chairman Bernanke on 60 Minutes last Sunday? He was talking about how the recession could last several more years. He mentioned your sister twice during the piece.
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She’s going to have to go into hiding.
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And the poor candy cane makers? Please, please continue your quest to talk some sense into her (and if that doesn’t work, force feed her!). Great post!
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Thank you! Can’t forget the candy canes!
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There’s no question that this ill-timed diet plan will have a short-term negative impact on the economy, but there may be an up side too. As Lisa loses weight, she’ll give away her fat clothes to Goodwill, which will hire more low-income workers, and then she’ll spend money on a succession of skinnier clothes, which will make retailers and child laborers in 3rd world countries rejoice at the extra workload. Eventually, she’ll hit that place that 99.99% of dieters arrive at, where her fat cells take over her brain and demand non-stop eating of things containing large amounts of fat, high fructose corn syrup and sugar, thus making the sugarcane producers and corn farmers very happy. The skinny clothes will be shoved to the back of the closet and Lisa will have no choice but to spend yet more money on bigger clothes made primarly of lycra. Until Lisa reaches that point, the rest of us will pitch in to stabilize the economy.
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Looks like you’ve given this a lot of thought. Are you an econ professor?
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Gasp! No, just a veteran yoyo dieter (now reformed — chubby, but reformed).
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Chuckles…wow.guess if everyone thinks like this. All companies will be wealthy at the expense of our health…looks like lisa’s diet would make alot of peeps unemployed and sad…so LISA!! Dont even think about diet one pinch…ok?
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You tell her!
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looks like someone has to make up for the food she’s not eating. nice post and congrats on being freshly pressed!
http://enjoibeing.wordpress.com/
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We all have to do our part (thanks!)
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Yikes– I’m on a diet, but I live in Haiti. We have cholera and are in a close-to-coup situation, do you think a diet is advisable in this setting? How might this impact the Haitian economy?
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Yikes is right. Just a little humor, here.
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OH MY!!!! I can’t believe what a heartless person I have been….I’m gonna go get some meatballs right now…wait…you don’t think the meat is from one of those Egg Nog cows do you? LOL Love ya!
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LISA! I can’t believe you have the nerve to show your self here. Have you learned your lesson?
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Lisa, don’t worry, you’re not alone! I’m right there with ya! Started eating lots of veggies and fruits for the past two weeks and lost 5 lbs. already! Woohoo! I know I’ll probably gain most of it back, I always do… I’m such a yoyo dieter! But heck, as long as I keep trying, right?!?!
As for the economy, I’ll make up for it on Christmas day for sure! Goble-goble! Merry Christmas to y’all!!! 🙂
PS: I hope nobody scolds me for encouraging you! LOL
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Hilarious post. I’m with you both, trying to stay on good terms with my skinny jeans through the holidays. Go, Lisa!
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Don’t worry Lisa/Ramblings. Today I bought enough eggnog and chocolate covered cherries to feed a small country; This should offset your frugal diet shopping!
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Ok, this post was funny, but your Wal-Mart post made me laugh out loud, so I had to subscribe. I didn’t name Wal-Mart in my most recent blog post, but I did share some WM experiences as well. Please stop by and read “Goldilocks, Poster Girl for Customer Service” at http://www.bigsheepcommunications.wordpress.com. Are we shopping at the same WM?? Thanks for the laugh!!
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Thanks for the kind words. I’ll check out your post for sure!
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Hilarious! 😀
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Thanks!
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well you just made me feel a trillion times better about 1. buying christmas junk and 2. eatin’ up this holiday season. i’m eating for a bigger cause 🙂
great post, congrats! and have a great weekend!
http://luckyenoughblog.com
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Thanks! All we can ask is that every American do their part.
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You have to give her credit for her foresight… I admire looking forward to a bangin’ bod on New Years already?! Damn. I can’t see past Christmas… or that plate of Christmas cookies right over there.
I mean, cookies for Christmas are American the whole month of December, right?
😉 Love your blog!
Xo,
Bridget and the Girls with Prius Envy
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Cookies are almost REQUIRED in December (but always w/sprinkles). Thanks for the kind words!
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Hahahaha this was a very clever article! Thanks for sharing 🙂
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Thanks for stopping by!
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Okay. Glad to see Lisa is coming to her senses. Whew! She could have sent this country into such a downward spiral that we might never have recovered! But just in case she’s thinking of backsliding into that diabolical way of thinking again, I’m going to make TWICE as much Candy Cane bread and peanut butter blossom cookies this year than I normaly do. (It counts just as much if I make it myself, doesn’t it?) Would you like me to send her some double-layer peppermint bark candy to tempt her and keep her in the right frame of mind? Because I’ll do it. That’s just the kind of American I am.
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Double-layer peppermint bark? Peanut butter blossoms? OK, stop right there. My computer warranty does not cover drool-damage to the keyboard.
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True, true dieting may decrease the food sale in the states leading to the states being less able to support poorer countries. Or you can see it as she is eating less and leaving more for others – it’s all about perspective!! Support a good cause at my site the film project “Finding home” learn more at http://tellittomyheart.wordpress.com/
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It’s always good to help those less fortunate, any time of year. Good luck with your project.
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If anyone would like to take Lisa out (if you get my drift), I, as another sister-in-law, would gladly sell you her home address for a measly $20, so Guido can pay her a visit!! (Doing my part to keep the economy going!)
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No, no Lib! Read a couple of comments above – Lisa has seen the light! Meatballs and fruitcake are on her to-do list for today (although those would not be MY choices for a holiday pig-out, to each their own). Love ya!
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Great post, you are too funny! And to think Lisa was reading… OMG! But it seems to have worked already, amazing what a little embarrassment will do! Keep up the comedy, and Congrats on Freshly Pressed. Will have to read more of your posts…just subscribed
evelyngarone.com
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Thanks for the kind words. It has been great!
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Count me in for Capt’n Morgan and Apple cider.
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Alcohol calories aren’t REAL calories anyway. That’s what they use in bunsen burners, so the calories just burn away! (and Mr. West said I was sleeping in science class!)
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excuse me while i go stuff my face with christmas goodies
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It’s your civic duty!
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I’m giving up sugar filled treats for the season and until my birthday.. Let Lisa do as she wishes, there are plenty of foodies out there that are willing to eat Lisa’s share. Lisa will probably help the economy by purchasing an expensive outfit for New Years, since she’ll hopefully look hot by then. The cookies will already be purchased, Lisa will just let someone else finish the last cookie. Go Lisa~
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I just read that lisa saw the light, I’ll just wear sunglasses and look the other way.. hahaha hope everyone eats a cookie for me!
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Of course, I don’t want to tell you what to do….go with your conscience.
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It’s too bad that the Democrats truly have zero clue how to make the economy better. They think they have a clue, but it really makes things worse. Democrats are ruining the economy worse than it already was.
Austerity is coming – it’s inevitable – your in-law is just ahead of the curve. Stock up on your peppermint stick ice cream while you can because next year it might not be there at all. Forget the lack of sales, the government might just mess with the taxes so much that businesses close up irrelevant of consumer demands.
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I never did understand the anise-flavored cookie industry, but I guess they have a right to their jobs, too.
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Me neither. Though I hear homemade zucherines (sp?) are really good.
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Here, here! I’ve pretty much conformed to the fact that yes, every morning in December, I’m going to be eating Christmas cookies. In fact, 1/2 of my diet during the holiday season consists of cookies, M&Ms, Hershey Kisses, pie, cake, brownies, and eggnog. It’s inevitable, so why try to fight it?!?
You need to allow yourself to enjoy this time of year….if you’re so worried about your diet, then try to eat things in moderation, but don’t eliminate them completely. Life’s too short to diet!
Great post…congrats on FP!
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Why didn’t I think of that? Broken-up cookie crumbs w/milk in the cereal bowl – great. Thanks for the kind words.
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You and I are in complete agreement!
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Great minds….
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I told someone today that there were sweets in the conference room. He responded by informing me he was on a diet.
I quoted you, and told him he was ruining the U.S. economy. He hadn’t really thought about it that way, and was very happy to have an excuse to go eat sweets!
🙂
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Wow! Somebody quoted me! Husband standing by with large hat pin with which to prick my inflated head.
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I think this could actually be a national security issue. Crippling the economy like that could make us more susceptible to terrorism. Your sister in law could be breaking the law here….
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I HAVE been in touch with Homeland Security, but I’m really not supposed to talk about it.
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Eggnog Forever! I don’t care if I’m not supposed to have dairy!
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That’s right! Who cares about the consequences! Just be sure to take that lactose drug so those AROUND you don’t suffer.
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very funny –i’ll just keep telling myself that i’m not eating…i’m propping up the economy. my son LOVES eggnog and although i buy him *everything he likes…i’ve avoided it so far. it’s like drinking the most delicious cholesterol ever.
merry christmas!
ps.
if you want to read about Hanukkah … check my blog out!
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Thanks – I’ll be sure to check out your blog.
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In addition to undermining the US economy, those folks who choose to diet at this time of year also run the risk of contributing to global warming. As everyone knows, fat keeps bodies unsulated. Thin people are a constant drain on scarce resources, as they push thermometers up in order to feel warm.
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Wrong on so many levels. Thanks for adding to the scientific dialog.
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Gasp, not the eggnog cows or the choco-cherry sellers! No, I must get to work and eat more York peppermint patties and Butterfingers and save the country! Om, nom, nom!
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You’re a patriot! Unless York peppermint patties are from York, England. Better do your research on that.
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Haha, awesome post! Nice Animal House reference as well; definitely pictured you in the middle of that scene with a quart of eggnog and a candy cane. Can’t wait to sign up for my new gym membership in a month!
http://programmingpoetically.wordpress.com
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As long as you do things in the right order, I have no problem with working out.
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Great, now I feel guilty that I didn’t buy candy canes.
Damn *off to Wallyworld*
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Actually, I can’t recommend that. You might want to check out my post from a couple of days ago about Wal-Mart.
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Funny stuff….Im on the chocolate covered cherries, egg nog, christmas cookie, pumpkin latte, peppermint ice cream only diet…um, like the cabbage soup only diet, only its 100% more totally awesome…..tell Lisa its all about the calorie count anyway….2 cherries for breakfast, a pumpkin latte mixed with egg nog for lunch (throw in some protein powder for good measure) and peppermint ice cream with cookies for dinner….thats it, problem solved….
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I like your style!
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Great stuff, I love all the delicious food available at Christmas time, gooey butter cake, hot cocoa with too much whip cream.I am starting to salivate… Your sister in law should start her diet like everyone else on January 2
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I believe you mean Jan 1, don’t you? Or is that still part of the holiday season? I always get those rules mixed up. Besides, Alka-Seltzer doesn’t have that many calories.
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Shame on her. She should wait until January, then read my plethora of blogs on why America is overweight. It will be inspiring by then! Great read.
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Thanks! Let’s wait until then for a dose of reality, shall we?
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Not to worry to much I have a 15 year old son who happily keeps our grocers employed, and there will be NO diets in this house this Holiday season bring on the cookies, cakes & pies!!!
Leila
http://azsbsm.wordpress.com/
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You go girl!
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hahahahaha! nice post! Congrats on Freshly Pressed! 🙂
-Tia
http://www.tiallarising.wordpress.com
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Thanks Tia. It has been a riot!
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I hope you were able to talk some sense into her. I consider dessert a food group, so I can’t fathom her logic, never mind the effects on the economy.
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Lisa has come over from the Dark Side. Thanks to all for their help!
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Great post! Not sure how I feel about the whole fruitcake thingy though–it’s day may be overdue…
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My Mom loves fruitcake. She is one of the 13 people (verified) in the world to eat them, and not use them as doorstops, or mail to relatives as Libertarian suggests below.
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Thanks for giving me a reason to justify making and eating sweets! 🙂
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Just doing my civic duty.
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I keep hearing all these things about peppermint patties, candy canes, and eggnog, but fruitcake is not getting the press it should!! Think of all the businesses involved in that product… cherry/other fruit farmers, dairy farmers, bakeries, SE Johnson (for the Saran Wrap), UPS/FedEx/USPS (think of all the shipping of unwanted fruitcakes from one relative to the next) – let’s give the fruitcake its due!
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I agree about the industries involved, but doncha think a brick would be a good substitute?
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This is hilarious. Your observations on tofu are profound. Sign me up!
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Thanks for the kind words. Maybe chocolate-covered tofu?
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MMM Peppermint stick ice cream YUMMMM. Nice post, congrats on being freshly pressed!
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Thanks so much! That means a lot coming from someone who is Perfect (albeit imperfectly)!
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Aside from the hilarity that is this post, I think the true things that need to be saluted here are as follows:
1. Lisa’s new found fame. Will she initially start out as a role model, be found dancing on tables & making out with her manager, only to do 5 stints in rehab? Let’s hope your next post addresses her 15 minutes.
2. The fact that I could so easily hear the music crescendo as I read your closing speech. To quote another epic lyrist (is that a word?) of our time, I’m proud to be American.
3. Your perserverance at replying to every post. Impressive!
4. Christmas. Wasn’t that a given?
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The future you sketch for Lisa is rather creepily specific – is there a story here? As to replying to all posts, I have done nothing but haunt this blog all day. Not a bit of work. I should be fired along with the choco-cherry employees. Putting on jammies and unrolling sleeping bag as I type…
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This was hysterical! I loved it so much that I sent a link to you around to my email friends. (Salutes with a mug of eggnog and a handful of chocolate covered cherries.)
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Thank you! It’s great that you are supporting such important American industries.
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I WAS gonna take up the ‘other sister-in-law’ on the 20 bucks. My brother IS Guido…but looks as though Lisa has reformed from her reforming ways – for now;) *raises glass of eggnog in salutation*
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Tell Guido to stay home – he’d never see his money. The other sister-in-law is a bad pay. That eggnog mustache looks good on you!
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Hilarious!!! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!!! On of the funniest post about Christmas diet, Now I will read your WM story.
Lisa, this is a Free Country you can do whatever you want, whenever you want!!!!!!!!!!
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Don’t encourage her.
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I would start helping by eating the Holiday sugar and MSG, but I haven’t finished helping the “Halloween jumbo orange marshmallow peanut ” manufacturers!
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No doubt a worthy industry, but I must admit that is one of the few foods, made entirely of sugar, that I don’t like.
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Hilarious post! And I so agree with you! Congrats on being freshly pressed.
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Thanks so much!
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It’s a tough job eating all of that crap, but obviously somebody’s gotta do it. That’s what I’ll now tell myself.
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Try to think of it as rational, not rationalization.
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You’re sister-in-law really does seem to be out wreck the US economy 😐 I’m from Sri Lanka but I can see how people like her who care only for their own hotness can damage an economy anywhere… tsk tsk…..
😀 loved the read… and i hope your sister-in-law read it too… Oh and I’ve never had eggnog (yes shoot me now) Don’t think they make it here. Anyways, you have yourself a wonderful Christmas!! 🙂
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Thanks for the kind words. You’ll have to come to the US and try eggnog, but only during the season. Otherwise it’s just plain weird.
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Now that you mention it my daughter may be able to help you out. I notice she’s put on a little weight but I thought it was the powdered and chocolate covered donuts and Monster energy drinks she consumes everyday. I wouldn’t be a red blooded American if I didn’t have her switch to eggnog at least. The fruitcake sounds good as well. I was planning on going to the bakery so when she drives me over for tortillas I’ma take a moment to smell the Christmas cookies and perhaps wet my finger and pick up some silver sprinkles. Whoa, can anyone say munchies?
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Hey, I’m not the eggnog police. You and your daughter can choose any one of a smorgasbord of bad-for-you foods!
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I would never diet around Christmas time. I’m just happy to indulge in eggnog and candy canes. LOTS of candy canes.
I never knew dieting could ruin our country. I’m going to go and stop my mother right now. She loves eggnog, but she’s giving it up just for a losing a few pounds which are very likely to come back. I don’t understand diets. Why would someone give up eggnog to lose weight?
Ashley
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It shows real daughterly love to save your Mom from making such a mistake. I am touched!
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I actually never thought about this, very interesting. I always eat seconds anyways! Food= YUMMY, just don’t take 3rds or 4ths… that’s when over-weight comes in! Good to help the economy though.
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Good advice about the 3rds or 4ths. Unless, of course, one is talking about chocolate/cherry cheesecake.
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Hahaha this was a great laugh! All that Christmas food sounds so good (chocolate chocolate chocolate!) if I were there I would definitely be helping to boost the economy! How can Lisa resist it!? Congrats on being pressed!
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Lisa has come over to the light. I hear she consumed massive quantities of wine last night, although I still don’t think alcohol counts.
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Dieting two weeks before … to look good? Isn’t that kind of locking the barn door AFTER the horse has gotten out? You forgot Paula Deen, who will she cook for? I found your webpage amusing, copped me a subscription, will follow you for awhile, see where it is that you take me.
DS
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Thanks for hoppin’ onboard!
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I hate to spoil the discussion, but I don’t think it has any negative effect on the economy: If your sister spends less on food, she has more money left to spend on other things. As long as she doesn’t burn the money, she will continue to support the economy.
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Dang! I knew it was pushing it to post this under the tag “Applied Economics”
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Well, everyone needs to decide: aither grow the economy and his body or … 🙂
Great article:)
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It’s the land of the free!
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A great read… I’m not an American, yet after reading this post I find myself humming Star-Spangled Banner and reaching for some Cheesecake. God Bless America.
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I like the way you think.
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This is a hilarious article! I think diets in general don’t really have a point, unless if you’re going to make a lifestyle change, you’re just going to yo-yo in the end. She better eat that eggnog, and enjoy it too!
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You’re right. Tempting to just give up, but come January, we’ll all be at the gym.
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Hahahahahahahahaha….Ok, yup, this is absolutely hilarious, thank you.
https://lanternhollow.wordpress.com/
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Thanks so much for the kind words. Glad you stopped by!
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hi!
there i had so much food on this webpage that i decided to go with Lisa.
Burp…..
😛
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Hey, that’s a compliment in some cultures, right?
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Jeepers, this is funny! Thanks for the laugh out loud chuckles (glad I wasn’t drinking my cocoa while reading this!) and congrats on FP. I needed a reminder that my red-and-green holiday-themed M & M’s are supporting our good ol’ red-white-and blue.
(Happily crooning “… ’cause we NEED a little Christmas, RIGHT this very minute …”)
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If I can make just one person spray cocoa/eggnog or some other seasonal drink through their nose, my work here has been worthwhile.
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You’ve just made me even more likely to gain 2 stone over christmas 🙂 thank you
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I wanna have stones instead of pounds. Then I’d weigh as much as a 5 year old!
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Yeah Egg Nog!!! =D
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My daughter thinks it’s nectar of the gods.
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Very funny! This time of year is BRUTAL! I am thanful for my jeans with spandex so that I can enjoy the seasonal goodies. This week I discovered that Walgreens carries my favorite Russell Stover Easter Egg Candies now packaged as Santa Candies! It truly is a magical time of year! Congratualations on your blog getting recognition!
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Another healthy sister-in-law! I’m proud of you for checking out the Russell Stover candies. Thanks for the kind words, Jane!
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Wow. Thanks for letting me know the risk of murdering my county by not eating the cake! Thank you!!!!
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An informed America, is a wise America. Or something profound like that.
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Great post – and don’t forget the homemade cookies and pie!
Congrats on being freshly pressed.
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I NEVER forget the homemade cookies and pie. (thanks!)
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Dagnabbit! I WILL order that pumpkin pecan cheesecake from Swiss Colony. For America.
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Only a commie-pinko WOULDN’T order the pumpkin pecan cheesecake!
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Well, there go my ideas of eating healthy for the holidays — I can’t have the collapse of the US economy on my conscience! Thank you so much for helping me to see the error of my ways; I am off to grab some custard-style eggnog, Christmas cookies, and loads of ice cream. I must do my part, after all.
Congrats on being freshly pressed! We had that honor just a few weeks ago; isn’t it fun to sit and watch your stat counter go higher and higher? :0)
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Thanks! It’s a wild ride, isn’t it?
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too freakin’ cute! love it!
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Thanks for the compliment – made my day!
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Hilarious post! Thank you.
Marie
http://memoirsandhalftruths.wordpress.com/
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No, thank YOU!
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i am not i do not need diet
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Good.
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Congrats on being Freshly Pressed. Great commentary on diet!! Pass some of that peppermint ice cream.
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That’s my favorite (w/choc sauce). Thanks for the kind words.
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No one should diet during the holidays!
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Amen!
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Yes I will help with the economy too and get myself some eggnog and chocolate covered cherries. I swear I could eat a box of those all by myself. And anything chocolate mint like those green and white M&M’s. Wow……now I won’t feel so bad. I’ll just say….it’s for the economy. Thanks for making me feel better.
http://lifebehindthemakeupcounter.wordpress.com/
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You’re just doing your part!
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Good news is more mashed potatoes and gravy for others at the dinner table.
Fun post.
Blessings,
Ava
xox
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Thanks for the blessings and the kind words – both are appreciated!
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I feel you’re absolutely right: your sibling’s action is thoughtless, and uncaring. However, as you say, she is simply misguided. I am about to finish a non-voluntary diet -a side dish to accompany two month’s of daily radio therapy – and am looking forward redressing the balance caused by my misfortune and your sister’s lack of communal vision. We have already stacked the house with copious amounts of food and industrial quantities of alcohol, and a prepared to play our part in restoring the global economy. …. cheers!
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Hope you’re back on your feet (and stomach) soon, with no recurrence of bad times.
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I am hanging on to my last can of Who Hash, just in case there is a Yule tide crisis in the economy as a result of this woman. Little Cindy Lou Hoo is just going to have to suck it up.
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You’re smart to stock up, but I urge generosity to Cindy Lou – she’s so cute!
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maybe the biggest picture of the economy can be blamed on all the bad people who dieted like Lisa over the past few years….. Shame on them…. but the cows taste good as I truly enjoy my Mcd’s….
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I’m with you!
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Very beautifully post and Like your sty
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Thanks for the nice comment!
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You don’t understand economics for shit. Spending does not create a growing economy its production. Besides the money your sister saves on food will be spent elsewhere. I could argue that your sister wont buy a certain food item and instead spend the money on a new pair of shoes.
The real growth is the factory in China that produced those shoes, then lent the USA a trillion dollars that we cant pay back, which allows us to buy the shoes on credit.
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I say, I say it’s a joke, son (doing best imitation of Foghorn Leghorn)
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So funny!
Thx for sharing and congrats on being freshly pressed!!
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I’m thrilled – thanks!
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really nice post 😀 i gess anyone can ruin the economy in this time of the year!
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The economy is so fragile, we may be one cut-out cookie away from the brink!
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This is a great excuse for over-eating… and one I’ll have to use come the 25th!
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Wonderful discipline to wait until then.
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Everything in moderation….no need to cut out all the goodies for Christmas…lol…glad to see your sister in-law has a goal…love the post!
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We don’t like to use the “m” word this time of year (thanks!)
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peppermint ice cream.. is tasty and refreshing
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It’s my favorite!
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Haha! I must run, not walk, to the nearest grocery store!
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Wait a minute – we don’t start the running until January!
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Here is the solution to your problem. Get your family to give Lisa an early Christmas present. Send her, and her diet, to China. This would then slow up their economy with consequences similar to those you so diligently outlined. The slow up in their economy would help us lower our trade deficit with China and put our economy in the red going into Christmas.
有一个美妙的假期 Lisa (have a wonderful vacation).
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Cogent argument. But I don’t think dieting in China would be quite the same. I don’t think they have much junk food, so giving up boiled duck lips might not make a big dent in their economy.
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A great funny post! Worthy of Freshly Pressed! Starting a diet a few weeks before Xmas is crazy- or crazily will powered, if she succeeds…lol. I had a freind once who decided to fast over Halloween… ah… all the candy she missed!…lol…
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There WAS a sharp drop in candy corn consumption last October..hmmm. Thanks for the kind words!
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I’m sure that the binge that follows will more than make up for the initial attempt to belt-tighten.
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Depressing, but true.
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Hahaha! Sooo true! Great site.
Cheers,
Dyna 🙂
http://www.asiandyna.wordpress.com
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Thanks for the kind words 🙂
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sister-in-laws! grr
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She’s actually quite nice, when she’s not dieting.
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I totally agree! Those chocolate Christmas trees filled with marshmallow deliciousness are just too good to pass up. I’m lucky though it is usually 30 below on new years here so i get away with gaining a few pounds in the winter and even wearing a parka in the winter is acceptable! So January second is the perfect time to start that diet no major holidays coming up except swimsuit season..
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An extra layer of blubber where you live is practically required for good health!
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Oh my gosh, what a scary post! And people are amused?! I mean, we’re at the brink of a real economical catastrophe! You’ve GOT to stop your sissie-in-law! I know YOU can! I mean, you sure sound smart, bright and highly educated. Besides, you’re married to HER brother! You go, girl! And I’ll go talk to MY mother-in-law who’s been talking about dieting for a while. Somebody’s GOTTA open her eyes, even at the price of own life… Farewell, my kindred heart!…
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I wouldn’t worry too much about your mother-in-law. People who talk a lot about this rarely see it through.
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LOL, she is a frugalista, at the least :). All she eats in a day’s worth is a slice of cheese, a cup of milk, two cups of tea and a few teaspoons of cherry preserves… If SHE starts dieting, I’d be scared to death. This time for real.
But your post is totally awesome! I don’t get to read blogs very often, taking care of two little ones and even attempting to write down my own musings at The Mosaics of Life. Thank you! You do brighten people’s days!
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Thanks for comliment
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Thanks for compliment and mad my day
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You’re welcome!
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I’m not a US citizen, but this makes so much sense I’m gonna write an appeal to my Ministry of Home Affairs (probably Ministry of Health, too), tell them it’s time to scrap all healthy-eating programs and encourage indulging instead. It’s for employment and better GDP! Better standard of living!
Thanks for the insight ;p
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Although I concentrated on the U.S., you’re right – it’s really a global issue. Thanks for trying to save the world!
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LOL awesome post…
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Thanks. I’ve been doing a lot of giggling.
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When I saw the title of your post I thought your sister was not going to do Christmas gifts!!! A diet can equally effect the family, is she going to require a different dinner and need low calorie drinks and desserts… yuck! I hope that thousands of readers you have recieved from being freshly pressed has changed her mind.
Congrats!
PS… you could be an econ. professor!
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No Christmas gifts? Bite your tongue!
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LOL what a great laugh.
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Thanks – it’s always good to laugh, no?
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My sister just started a diet, maybe you can include her in this blog post?
But isn’t Christmas meant to be a time of fun, family and getting fat? I call it the month of the three F’s.
Anyway, I hope your sister-in-law stops chewing on her celery long enough to realise what she is doing to the world! And especially me, I can’t live on Tofu!
Great blog by the way, you really have a talent for this! 😀
~Charley
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Your sister is seriously disturbed. You can tell her I said so. (thanks for the kind words!)
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Well there you go, but to possibly help compensate does anyone have any recipes for egg-nog? It’s not something I’ve tried before.
Or is it like that awful Dutch liqueur, Advocaat?
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Looking at the description for Advocaat it seems like it might be in the same family. Although eggnog is often served without any alcohol added, surprisingly enough.
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So full of wit and yet so valid. Preach on.
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Amen, sister!
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We seem to be a fad society, diet during the holidays, short term solution. Work out after the holidays, another short term solution. Do everything in moderation and remember the KISS. Keep It Simple Stupid
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Good advice. Not very funny, but good advice.
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I loved this article… I have to tell you that this is the first article that I have read from your blog… I found myself laughing and I have not done that in several months. I am in the process of a divorce and am a single mom of four little ones. I just want to encourage you to continue writing and bringing laughter to those who read because it is people like me that needed someone to remind me that I can laugh… Thank you so much.
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Thanks for the kind words. Best of luck to you and your little ones.
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Pingback: My Sister-In-Law Is Ruining The U.S. Economy (via Ramblings) « Mbconsulting's Blog
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At the risk of putting yet another nail in the eggnog farm coffin, I personally could never quite bring myself to drink something called “nog”.
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Where’s your spirit of adventure? Just think of it as eggs – that’s healthy, right?
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But consider this. What must one DO to those eggs to render them into the state of nog? I shudder to think.
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A lot of rum, perhaps some vodka, and/or tequila. Otherwise it’s just virgin nog… *hic*
or scrambled eggs…
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Mmmmm, candy cane ice cream. I too wonder how all the Christmas Treat companies survive the other 11 months of the year…I don’t know that I’ve ever seen Ovation Mints except at Christmas.
I strongly agree, we must all do our duty and contribute to the feeding frenzy of the holidays so we can feel just as miserably guilty and bloated as possible to start off the new year in fine form.
Here’s to yumminess – and supporting the economy!!!
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Nice to know you’re doing your share – carry on!
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I love your blog you are awsome keep up with the stories you give others a good lol when they need it TY Cherri
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