Wanted: Self-starter for the position of raconteur, bon vivant and all around Renaissance woman.
Job duties to include:
- Writing…when the muse strikes.
- Strolling… a beach, hiking a trail or striding down city streets.
- Partying… hearty. An almost bacchanalian appreciation for good food and wine required.
- Contemplating… the meaning of life and one’s belly button in equal measure. Best accomplished stretched out in a hammock.
- Sleeping…late. Occasionally announcing your intention to rise and greet the dawn gives as many brownie points as actually doing it.
- Singing & dancing…enthusiasm more important than ability.
- Traveling…first class and all expenses paid to fun and exotic locations.
- Reading… whenever and whatever you want.
- Watching…chick flicks, Fellini art films, trashy TV, etc. Must be able to express opinions on a wide variety of cultural topics, from the sublime to the Real Housewives.
- Hobnobbing…with fascinating people.
Ideal candidate will possess the following qualifications:
- Gently seasoned. Old enough to have been around some; young enough to be able to get around some.
- Eager to learn new things.
- Willing to set out at a moment’s notice for the next adventure. Said adventure is guaranteed NOT to involve roughing it at a level below three Michelin stars, activities that cause up-chuckery, or rats and bugs.
- Able to speak several foreign languages. Willingness to fake it by speaking English with a foreign accent is just as good.
- Smart enough to realize you’re not that smart.
- Able to laugh, long and hard, at yourself and those around you.
Salary: commiserate with whatever your little heart desires.
Perfect employee in search of ideal job. Potential employers encouraged to send offers care of this blog.
What’s your ideal job?