AP file photo
Hosni Mubarak is dead.
Or dead-ish. It depends on who you talk to.
The world has been trying to figure out the exact health status of the ousted former president of Egypt ever since the country’s official news agency announced earlier today that he was “clinically dead”. Senior officials have since walked back that announcement, saying that Mubarak is not as dead as first thought. In fact, he may be just feeling really, really lousy.
This is the first known case of someone recovering from dead since Jesus Christ.
Sources have released a score of conflicting reports, variously saying that Mubarak is:
- Clinically dead
- Dead as a doornail
- An ex-parrot
- The fat lady has sung
- Shuffled off this mortal coil
- We got a guy with a pillow taking care of things
At this point, the world wants to know if he is morally, ethically, spiritually, physically, positively, absolutely, undeniably and reliably dead.
Although few are likely to mourn the former leader’s passing, there are many who have been heard to refer to him nostalgically as “the devil you know”. This is a sentiment voiced especially by the approximately 10 million Christians in Egypt.
Thousands have taken to the streets in Cairo, waiting for official word that he’s not only merely dead, he’s really most sincerely dead.
The crowds are expected to then break into a rousing chorus of “Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead”.
haha … an dead-ish ex-parrot! funny! he looks like he’s got a whole ‘Weekend At Bernie’s’ thing going on in that pic.
Haha! It’s probably not nice to laugh at someone on death’s door, but you’re right.
This sounds a lot like the press releases out of the old USSR. Nice Ex-parrot reference!
I was going to replay the whole sketch, but most people can fill it in from memory, right?
If WordPress has taught me anything, it’s that there are tons of people out there who haven’t seen much of the things which I think are standard, like Monty Python (I should talk – much has been made of my having seen zero Star Wars movies). I got several comments after writing my Gilligan’s Island post from people who had never seen the show.
In any case, I enjoyed the reference, and my amusement is a high priority, right?
Always number 1 on my list of priorities.
And that ladies and gentlemen, is how you appease a finicky follower. Long Live Peg-O
I’m reading The Screwtape Letters with the Sunday School class. I think Wormwood would be pleased with the un-dead former Egyptian president.
I keep scrolling back up at your Wizard of Oz referrals to the deadness. Cracks me up. *sigh* I feel kinda guilty about that – still, it cracks me up.
I felt kind of guilty writing this, but it’s not his death (or lack thereof) that I’m mocking – it’s the uncertainty of it.
I was watching the news on the treadmill at the Y last night and it just struck me funny so I came back to the office and did this post. Fastest I’ve ever posted something, and I’ve NEVER posted twice in a day before.
I chuckled to myself this morning, thinking of you and the post. I heard a report on the news, and I had a flash of Monty Python … “I’m not dead yet.”
I thought that too, as did John down below (by which I mean his comment is down below this one, not that he lives “down below”, or would for any reason even qualify to be located in “the fiery pit”. Just so we’re clear on that.) I was going to put a link to that cuz the Holy Grail is one of my all-time favorite movies, but I thought 2 movies and a news article in one post was enough.
There is also the fact that he may only be ‘mostly dead’, taking that from Princess Bride.
Ronald Reagan was clinically dead for the last two years of his presidency, but almost no one noticed…
Ba-dum,dum. Maybe that’s the secret to getting our country out of this mess. Install a corpse in the oval office so he can’t mess everything up.
“I’m not dead yet!”
Hey, I thought of that! But I have a strict, one-Monty-Python-reference-per-post rule. Too funny.
Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated….
What a great line – Mark Twain?
I believe I just said that – me, k8edid.
Really, it was Mark Twain. He stole it from me.
I believe I just said that – me, k8edid.
Really, it was Mark Twain. He stole it from me.
Do you remember back in the 70′s (no, of course not, you’re a mere child) but SNL had a running gag about “…General Francisco Franco is still dead….”
Wow, I’m repeating myself. Again. Maybe I should get to work. Nah.
Now k8′s an “ex-parrot.” Ha!
Ha ha! You slay yourself.
Actually it was “…Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead…”
I forgot that sketch! I think we’re about the same age, Katy, so most SNL and Monty Python references are burned into my brain. No need to get to work – just hang out here all day.
Ah, when SNL was really good.
I know – I try to watch it now and just keep saying “I don’t get it.” “When do they do the funny parts these days?” “Who are these people?”
I know, and I don’t know if it really did used to be so much better than it is now, or if it’s a sign that I’m getting old that EVERYthing was better way back when.
I’m not dead. I’m sleeping! This was hilarious, peg. I await the final verdict from you.
I’m standing by with a hand-mirror. I’ll let you know.
Brutally funny, Peg. And as I type this, the news is saying that reports of his death are unconfirmed….
I see this morning they’ve walked it back even further. Now he’s semi-definitely alive-ish.
Is this like being a little pregnant. And today’s news is that the president is….
I found you in my spam folder, under an avalanche of offers to buy cheap handbags. Hope you didn’t suffocated down there!
My Favorite Movie of All Time!!! The Wizard of ‘Oz lyrics. Love it, Pegolicious!!
When are you going to teach me the ways of blogging, oh revered sister?
Tar, just jump on in–the water’s fine!
What Darla said! Seriously, how about over the 4th? What day are you coming?
I’m booked TH-Sat night. BTW, you were Right! We did need to call and reserve individually, something you said weeks ago. Hanging head in semi-shame…
Please tell Tar, if a cave man like me can blog, she can do it too.
I make stumps look smart sometimes. Hmm, that’s my new tagline for my blog.
I LIKE that. BTW, did you change your avatar to a totally different person?
We may be the last to know…
Not a real dynamic individual if nobody can tell.
God, I’ve been feeling really, really lousy for years. Am I dead? Am I Bruce Willis? Is this the Sixth Sense?
Dunno. Turn around so I can see if there’s a big, honkin’ red hole in your back.
There’s only one sure way to know – someone needs to take off his shoes and see if his feet curl up (I’m not volunteering).
Don’t you want his shoes?
No, no, I’m good on shoes. You keep them.
But if you click them and say “there’s no place like home” they take you to jail (the deposed dictator wing.)
Well, don’t click!
I haven’t read anything so funny for years..even the comments add to the humour of it all
I do hope that there will be more……Have they not looked to see if he was breathing?
You’d think it would be pretty straightforward, but I guess they don’t like to rush things when there are thousands of (unstable) people hanging around in the streets.
I’m sure there must be more than a few willing volunteers who’d be happy to stick a pin in his feet/give him a kicking, to be sure. I’m just going to assume that’s a cold, dead, terrorist body and move on with my life.
Not so fast. This morning the news says he’s warmed up some and is moving on with HIS life. Such as it is.
GTFO! Astonishing. I still, with much serious consideration, think they should apply the pin/kicking tests. For science, you see…
Oh, well, as long as it’s JUST in the interests of science…
Why do I, being from Jersey, feel like I probably know “the guy with a pillow taking care of things”?
The Jersey boys have a guy on the inside just about everywhere, don’t they?
My immediate thought was Monty Python. I’m glad that made the list.
“This is an EX-EGYPTIAN PRESIDENT!”
Cue somebody bonking him against the pet-shop counter. I bet you’d get some volunteers for that job in Egypt.
They’re totally going to keep that guy alive like he’s a single king without an heir. Someone on the radio today said it’s very Shakespearean – the ousted leader of a nation hovers between life and death (more on death’s side is my guess, not that his peeps will own up to that) as his country hovers on the precipice of a newly unfolding future that could bring either tyranny or triumph – and no one knows which way he favors…
Someone’s gonna have to drop a housey on Hosni.
It could happen. The house thing. I’m not so confident about the newly unfolding triumph thing, especially if you are a Christian living in Egypt.
I don’t care what the “authorities” say, he’s not dead. I’d comment some more, but I’m late for a lunch date with Elvis.
I’m thinking about that movie “Dave” where a presidential impersonator takes the place of the president, who is in a coma. That wouldn’t really work here, though, given that Mubarak is currently living in prison.
But, wait! Just last month you said disco is dead — and then I heard Knock On Wood on the way to work and now I’m not so sure. I don’t know what to believe anymore, Peg.
Disco is still dead, Angie. You must have been listening to a memorial service. But maybe I’m getting a little preoccupied with deadness here. Hmmm, must ponder.
Ha! You always have the greatest comebacks, Peg.
Speaking of comebacks…disco will be back. You just wait.
Peg, do you think they’re playing “Staying Alive” over and over and over for him??
Could be. Under Obamacare that is the recommended protocol for these cases.
I’m anticipating executive level ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ type hi-jinx…
Have you seen every movie ever made? I need to get out more. Or better yet, stay in more, with Netflix. I’m woefully culturally illiterate.
There must be an APP for figuring out how Dead is Dead.
By the way, have you read Madame Weebles post about the iTomb Burial System? Some good ideas for when a person is actually dead dead. http://fearnoweebles.wordpress.com/2012/06/19/steve-jobs-still-innovating-from-beyond-with-his-new-itombs-burial-system/
Apple is probably working on that app right now. The iTomb Burial System was hysterical, Margie! Thanks for the link.
A ha ha! Oh my gosh, is post is classic. I think you are absolutely correct missy. He is dead as dead can be. Even Queen wrote a song to commemorate this occasion: it was called “Another One Bites the Dust.”
THAT’s what he needs – a cool theme song to take him out the rest of the way.
I think this whole things sets a bad precedent; once recovering from death becomes trendy, all the cool kids will be doing it.
You know? Think about all the kids waiting for their rich, old dads to die and the disappointment when he rallies at the last minute. Very inconsiderate.
I’ll say.