I’ve been to this rodeo before. If you don’t mind the mixed metaphors.
It seems like only yesterday, yet it was a long, LONG (really very long) time ago that I was last a finalist in the caption contest over at The Good Greatsby’s blog. Some would say I belong in the finals EVERY time, but that’s not important now. I am on the short list.
Even more important than fun blogging contests are the friendships you make online. That caption contest was where I met Darla from She’s a Maineiac.
When I saw that her awesome caption was probably going to smoke mine, I skedaddled over to her blog for the first time to snoop around. I was like the Jets cruising the Sharks neighborhood, looking for trouble. I was packing my switchblade and ready to rumble. What happened then wasn’t pretty. There was post hijacking and trash talking all up in the joint. She and her gang (Mr. Skittles) came to my neighborhood and retaliated, and I got shot. In a bloggy, metaphorical kind of way. It was just like that scene in West Side Story with all those really delicate, gay guys doing their darndest to look like tough gang-bangers as they ballet danced all over the place.
It was a beautifully orchestrated verbal fight where the seeds of one of my bestest, bloggy friendships were sown.
Click here to read my pathetic plea for votes and the comment trail that started it all.
Once again, Darla and I are head-to-head in the caption contest, along with buddy Laura from Unlikely Explanations and a small bevy of talented bloggers. But this time around I wouldn’t trade our monkey-owning, jacket-wearing, Reeses’ Peanut Butter Cup-loving friendships for any fancy awards, even if universal adoration and the ability to see through walls may be at stake. These bloggers are just that special to me.
But if you have a moment, feel free to stop by GG’s blog and vote for my caption so I can grind Darliciousness and Laura into the dust.
The return of the bridesmaid dress! Still looks great.
Some tough captions to choose between there
That sounds suspiciously diplomatic, Joe. As if you can’t decide???
I did now! but it’s a secret
(gasp) You can’t decide? Joe? Doesn’t our bloggy relationship mean anything to you? No? Fine. I’ll do my best to carry on now. sniff, sniff…
Joe, did I ever tell you how that bridesmaid’s dress really brought out the beautiful blue of your eyes? Very handsome!
Joe? Did I ever tell you how drop dead gorgeous you are? And that tattoo? a-MA-zing. Y’know, you are one of the sweetest, best-looking bloggers I have ever had the pleasure to know and I mean that.
You’re both insane!, I’ll look at the other options
What’s with the K’s?? Cutesy misspellings drive me insane, so when you see me on the evening news in handcuffs and an orange jumpsuit tonight, you should know that it’s your fault.
I know. And I’m kinda sorry about that.
You’ll visit, right?
I’ll konstantly be koming by for sparkling konversation!
Please bring kake.
With a knail phile in it.
You so get me.
I voted for you! I voted for you!
You won’t regret it. When I win, they’ll be a chicken in every pot!
I love the subtle nature of your pleas
Also, enjoyed re-reading the hijacking snort-your-milk-out-of-nose original pleas for votes.
I’m FREE!!! Yippeeeee!!!!! First Day Off and I’m up too early waiting for tennis semis to start. Isn’t that weird? When I don’t have to get up, I get up early. When I have to get up, I drag my … feet.
Good Luck in THE contest! On my way to vote today…
You’re free!!!! The whole summer stretches before you, full of freedom. What have you got planned this year? Will I see you on Saturday?
Yes! Didn’t know you were coming. Can you stay for the Blessing of the Fleet Sunday morning? Mom called yesterday asking for reservations and it was the first I heard of it. May stay overnight and do both gigs. It is supposed to be hot and humid this weekend. Safe travels!
I liked yours a lot the first time I read it, and I voted for you (sorry Darla), but I think Elyse’s was definitely the best – I can’t believe it didn’t make GG’s list .
GG’s brilliant, but I don’t always get the choices. It would be too much pressure for me.
Yes, I demand that Paul comes here and tells us how he goes about choosing these captions….I have a feeling he has Mr. Skittles put on a red sequined dress and pull lottery balls out of a spinning cage.
P.S. If you’re reading this, I love you, Paul. You’re the best, man. Sincerely. I really mean that.
Paul won’t fall for that pathetic, placating post script. Besides he’s too busy having mad successes in real life to stop by much anymore. Not that I’m jealous. Ha ha! Nope..no way.
I’m so torn! I love The Darla, too. This is what those weepy kids of divorced parents are crying about when they have to choose which Christmas they want. It’s all too hard!!!
THis is great training for real life – put on your big girl panties and do the right thing, Tori.
I love The Darla! Kinda like The Donald except without the crazy hair.
(p.s. if you vote for me I’ll send you some [sing-songy voice] choooooclaaaaaates….)
I love The Darla, too.
Tori, I don’t mean to cause trouble, but did you know that Darla tells everyone your avatar makes your complexion look a bit…sallow?
I only meant that in the nicest way, Tori. By the way, your wedding pictures were all truly stunning…the food, the decorations…Of course, it was hard to concentrate on much else in the pictures other than the glowing beyond-breathtaking bride.
Breathtaking? Really? She was just the most gorgeous bride ever to walk down any aisle anywhere in the history of weddedness, is all!
What in tarnation is going on here?
Need I remind you and all of the Peglomaniacs that YOU won that last showdown. And this was after I shamelessly begged for votes and threw Mr. Skittles under the bus. Besides, I may be in the finals sometimes, but I rarely win. Might have something to do with the fact that everyone else’s captions are infinitely better than mine…but STILL! I can feel my seething jealousy rising….[narrowing eyes]
Y’know what? [slamming hand down on table] That is it! I might have to pull out the big sad monkey guns now. I may even have to set out a bowl of Circus peanuts in the hopes Mr. Skittles sniffs his way back to my open arms.
I will not go down in flames like this, Ms. Pegnacious! I will not sit idly by while you trample my caption contest dreams once again with your snazzy red heels!
P.S. I love you. We can still be friends once the dust settles, right….?
Tee hee…I love watching the dust fly! I may just hang out here in bloggy-world and see what transpires. May the games begin!
Darla, Darla, Darla. Of COURSE we’ll still be best buds. This is just business, right? It has nothing to do with our deep-down love and admiration.
Oh suuuuure.
Just business!
[dialing phone....]
http://www.johnlund.com/images/200157725-002.jpg
Mr. Skittles? I need you. It’s urgent.
Bwahahaha! Boy that Mr. Skittles sure is photogenic.
I love how he sits with his legs crossed, so very gentlemanly.
I voted for you! Funny. We just took my mom’s keys away from her. Boy, did she fight it!
That caption was in the bittersweet department, really. Sad when it happens for realz.
My mom wouldn’t speak to my dad for days after he took the keys away.
It’s such a loss of freedom; such a major step backwards from a life of independence.
I have to tell you: You and Darla have two of the sharpest wits. I don’t even attempt to enter anymore. I don’t know how you do it. You both amaze me. Heading over to Paul’s right now. Dagnabit.
I love you, Renee! But the question is: do I amaze you slightly more than Peg? Just a tiny bit more? hmm? No? I give up. But before I go:
My, you are looking good today! Have you been working out?
Am I allowed to say this: There have been times where you have amazed me more than Peg and other times where Peg has out amazed you? If you were horses, you’d be neck and neck. But I would never be so stupid as to call my friends horses. Neigh. I would never do that.
Renee, I’ve been meaning to tell you for some time how much I admire the remarkable abdominal strength you must have to be able to maintain the arched backwards pose you do in your avatar. I would fall over for sure, and I’m not just saying that!
Several people have commented on this over the years. I am going to have to post some of my yoga poses. You guys will laugh. Or not.
Under great duress, and with no monetary incentive, I reluctantly voted for you. Darla better step up her game. From now on, I follow the money.
Wait a minute, here, Renee. What do you think this is – Chicago politics?
Money? Oh, I get it. I see where this is going.
[digging in jeans pocket]
Ok, this time around I have one very crumpled, damp and faded dollar bill, two buttons and a small pile of lint.
Wha??? How did you know the shortest path to Renee’s heart was through her pocket lint collection? Curse you, omnipotent one!
Ah, yes…
the good ol’ bloggy equivalent of swinging around a sock full-o-batteries…
Well, that’s still legal on the webz, unlike brass knuckles.
Girls–the entertainment level is high right here on this page. But I’m looking in as an outsider, through tears or rainy glass, wanting in on the action. Next contest, I’m going to spank you both!
She started it! No fair!
And oh, you ain’t seen nuthin’ yet. I am taking over this whole post and will bother all Peg’s commenters relentlessly (mission already accomplished, huh?) AND I am planning the comeback of the century with my upcoming post tomorrow. mwahahaaaaaa!!!
I get a little nervous when you get your maniacal laugh on. Remember, this is all in fun. Right? Right, buddy? Luv ya!
Oh, just wait till you see my post tomorrow, Pegoliciousness!
p.s. Love you too!
You DO realize, Darlinkidinkidoo, that our site stats are going to read like we’re the two, most popular bloggers in the universe today? We must not be misled that our bloggy ships have finally come in; it will just be you and me bouncing back and forth from one another’s blogs like we were wearing flubber shoes.
My stats are looking good. Why didn’t we think of doing this before?
Ha! OH, was ever a heart so torn as mine? Does this mean you’ve also ruled out bribery?
Bribery? [sounds of wrapper being torn open] Never! [crinkling of paper] I coudn’t imagine sinking so low, Jules [holding up giant peanut butter cup and inhaling deeply] But if you throw a vote my way, why this here 1 pound bag of peanut butter eggs (that’s right, eggs) just might find their way to your mailbox by way of overnight FedEx.
Darla has my vote.
Score!!!!!
Jules, eggs means Easter! That was months and months ago! Darla is offering you stale candy – she’s trying to poison you!!!!!!! (that statement deserves a few extra exclamation points.)
OMG. But. What if I eat them with vodka? …Will you send the vodka? Then I’ll make my final decision.
Absolut-ly. But maybe you better vote before you start on the joy-juice.
Hmm. Very clever, Miss Peg. But now whose grey goose is cooked? (I just sent you their biggest bottle, Jules, should be there in 24 hours…)
…and oh, I meant reese’s peanut butter cup’s newest line of flags, you know, in preparation for the fourth of July….
(thought bubble above Peg’s(undeniably attractive) head) Hmm. quick. very quick. The power is strong in this one.
Worthy contenders, all. Have at it
They ARE all good, aren’t they? But you like mine best, right?
Thank goodness for that last paragraph! Until I read that, I was worried you were losing your edge.
I love GG’s caption contests. I don’t know why I haven’t entered one in ages. That’s where I met Darla, in fact. But I have no idea where I met you, Peg. Were you that scrappy hitchhiker we picked up in Tallahassee?
No, I was the plucky truck stop waitress sliding into middle age apathy, but still with a dream in her heart. When I saw your free spirit; how you gave up everything to drive across country in a cool, old convertible, I quit, tossed my apron in Mel’s (the owner) face and we headed off into the sunset.
Then we drove off a cliff.
I met you, Laura, AND The Darla through GG’s comment section, which I was stalking for cool online friends. Score on all three counts! Now I’m too busy to stalk GG or his comment section. Thanks, GG, but my cool online friends quota has been more than filled.
Good luck in the caption contest! Can you believe I’ve never even ventured into that section of GG’s blog before? For shame!
GG’s comment section really is a treasure trove of cool bloggers.
It is a great meeting place. It’s like a cool nightclub where the bar’s always open, but there’s no cover charge. Also no alcohol, so, that kinda stinks.
Wow, I’m getting creamed over there. I’m pretty sure it’s because I didn’t put any commas in the long numbers in my caption. If I had commas, I’d probably win by a landslide.
I noticed the lack of commas right away but, of course, I wasn’t going to say anything. It’s a shame, really.
I will be straight over there to vote! Good on you for turning vicious hatred into everlasting love
my hero!
Viscious hatred…everlasting love…flip sides of the same coin, really. Just ask any divorce attorney.
I am torn – your caption is good…Hmmm. I better get over there and read them again.
AND – you are both finalists in the Envy round of The Seven Deadly Sins contest!
What the ???? You mean I have to go vote for you in ANOTHER contest? Geez, Peg, is there no end to your competitive forays?
Maineiac woman has thrown down the gauntlet today. Especially with the PLAID diapers on her monkey. Hmmm….what would Freud say by her choice of attire? Hmmm???
Peg does get around…
What the…? Just got into work, so that means blogging. Heading over to scope out the damage.
Whoo hoo! Great news, Katy. But another head-to-head with Darla? Oh no…..
I know…it could get ugly.
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A bridesmaid dress always conjurs some snarky thoughts, doesn’t it?
Always.